Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.

Fair enough. However, my overall point stands.

I'm almost positive the various home shopping networks do give themselves away for free or close to it. Your cable company is required to offer a package of at least the local broadcast stations; usually they throw in one or more of the C-SPANs, a handful of the home shopping channels, whatever public access channels…

Stupid public radio. I never got my tote bag.

It seems like the writers remembered that just in time for everyone else to show up.

Well, good, as long as that's settled.

I *might* be able to consider taking ol' Boris seriously if he didn't look like Darrell Hammond doing a Bernie Sanders impression. Oh, and if his name wasn't Boris.

Am I the only person who didn't know that Coachella was a multi-weekend event?

It's really another case of NYC vs. the rest of the state of New York. If upstate NY* was its own state, Sanders would have won 53% to 47%. It's just that Hillary dominated downstate*, winning that region 63% to 37%… and since downstate counts for about 70% of the votes cast in the Democratic primary, it all ends up…

I don't think she'll be around in ten years to comment on her naïveté. Seems to me she intends to take her own life at the conclusion of the Democratic National Convention in July.

James blew up for you! He ignited into a fiery inferno for you people!

He ate all of the Skittles that were used in that commercial he was in and lapsed into a diabetic coma.

Ugh! I've had to do that with my mom lately whenever I've mentioned Chris Thile.

There was a tic-tac-toe incident when he was a child that left him scarred for life.

I can't say I've ever had a beer made with maple, but I imagine a maple soda would probably taste similar to cream soda.

Is it really? I just thought it had something to do with grape Kool-Aid.

In all seriousness, that's always bugged me. I'm actually from (the suburbs of) Albany, and as far as I know, steamed hams are not a thing. (And I have no idea why no one around here hasn't ever tried to make it a thing.) We do have miniature hot dogs, though! And we serve our fish frys in (regular-sized) hot dog…

YES! They're even better when you're dead!

Fuck it! We're doing it live!

SHAAAAART