You know, 2016 still at least a week away. Who knows...

Goddamn, she looks like a mashup of a Shih Tzu, Connie Cezon, and a cheap Dollar Tree balloon. (Sorry, fellow Stooge fans and Ms. Cezon’s past, current, and future family.)

This morning my headphones died. But then I went to CVS and bought new ones. If only!

George Michael really did try to take one for the team but 2016 was a beast. I think it’s finally done now.

I feel like a dick for laughing at this. But since I’m also crying, maybe it doesn’t count.

I’ve taken to calling him: “Twitterer-in-chief-elect”, or “Twit” for short.

I’m definitely on board with recognising Hillary’s triumph: she’s now had more votes in the history of elections against every white man who has ever ran. That is an absolute triumph and I’m delighted she did so well, gutted that she didn’t get in.

You mean “Commander-in-teet”?

I’m on the verge of making a bunch of sock puppet twitter accounts JUST to use for fucking with him until he quits, gets impeached, or dies.

I scrolled down quickly straight to the comments section. I learned all I needed to know from all y’all. This happens more than I should admit. But it is way more fun!

Well, it’s not just random sour grapes. It’s that she won the popular vote by the widest margin of any losing candidate in our entire history. When you look at that and see how the clear will of the people didn’t matter, it’s mostly logical to think, “This doesn’t seem right at all.” Because it isn’t.

I feel like the disconnect between the popular vote and the electoral vote is the like a big neon sign saying “OUR BIGGEST PROBLEMS ARE STRUCTURAL”

because you know californians are allll liberal nutjobs that give nothing back to society

He’s already won it in my heart.

Trump would have definitely lost to Obama. With all her problems with the press and the sexism she faced, Clinton still had almost 3 million more votes than Trump. Trump is president only because we’ve got a goofy system in place that makes the damn South more important than it is. With Obama’s dynamic campaigning,…

Oh, Kate McKinnon we love you so.

I just want to say that, while best wishes for Carrie Fisher to have a speedy and full recovery are good, my heart goes out to Debbie Reynolds. A parent shouldn’t outlive her child.

I think we all collectively saw that headline in our minds, every time we started to type G - A - W.... then remembered what year this is.

Asma Jama is a far better person than I am.