I know he's Generalissimo Goodell, but I had no idea he also tries to pass himself off as Dr. Phil.

Of course they haven't been paid yet- the bribery installment payments to all of the other countries who voted for Qatar eat up a ton of cash flow.

ask Howard Stern: it's radio heaven over there. Work 3 days a week, take 15 weeks vacation, and you can say whatever you want because Ashley Madison will never pull their ads.

now that he's not snorting coke through them, he's got to find some use for these papers he has lying around the house.

Prediction: Screamin' A will get canned, but quickly re-hired for commentary on Fox News/Fox Sports because, "The liberalllllz were meanies to him, but we're better than that here at the All-'Merican news network."

ESPN brass passing around this article in the office: "Great job parroting your assigned talking points yesterday, talent! Olbermann, please see me in my office."

Somewhere, an ESPN HR lawyer is patting himself on the back: "See, this is exactly why we needed that line in Keith Olbermann's contract where he couldn't name one of ESPN's personalities one of The Worst People In The World! If Keith did that, it would cause real brand damage to the Worldwide Leader."

"It's the Seattle SuperSonics and they will do everything they can to make that work there," said a spokesman for David Stern/Clay Bennett, 2006.

Too bad he didn't play for the Ravens. Generalissimo Goodell would've only pushed the induction back two weeks. You know, to show the kids that there are consequences.

But, but... does Tony Dungy see this as a distraction? Probably not.

Shocking headline: "NFL-owned media says things that inflate image of NFL"

Parents of young children spreadsheet, excuse column:
"Baby Woke Up"
"Too exhausted"
"Daily Show had a good guest"
"Toddler puked in bed."

DURRRR... no GLORY BOYS here.... DURRRRRRRRR.

He's not taking a selfie at Pac-12 media days because Pac-12 media days don't matter in the big scheme of things.

Given that it's for the Vikings, it's also a deathtrap for hopes and dreams, but you don't see their fans complaining.

At least in the case of the Steelers, two of those rings have happened in this century. I can respect that.

But the 49er fan yelled "FIVE RINGS! FIVE RINGS!!'" as he was going down, so he really showed the Seahawks mascot.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2021 Flint Tropics FC!

Divorce judge: "So, you made a passive-aggressive Excel sheet about sex, and you passive-aggressively posted it to Reddit once you got it?"

One lesson that could be drawn is, "Keep your mouth shut until you know something for certain."

"Tony Gwynn did not play for the Yankees, Red Sox, or Cardinals, so we do not give a flying fuck."