A genetically modified pig on the rampage? Pass. I already saw a video of him at the White House today.

I can solve this. Make a special piece of eyewear in the game that makes female soldiers in multiplayer appear as males to the player wearing them. To balance things out, players wearing these . . . we’ll call them Cock Goggles . . . players wearing Cock Goggles appear as giant flaming penises to everyone else.

Good point. That’s why this year’s multiplayer will let you die once — then you’ll never be able to play again.

“Why are we still here? Just to suffer?”

“Vaughn, a 28-year-old adult”

“Oh goshdarnit!”

Pictured: Nintendo’s new, unbreakable supply chain.

He used to be an adventurer until he took an arrow to the knee, now when ever he sees a character with a bow he flies into a salty rage.

Don’t believe in yourself Link, believe in the Sidon that believes in you.

YES LOOK AT ALL THE LIBERAL COMMENTERS ON YOUTUBE SUCH A BASTION OF PROGRESSIVE THOUGHT

“Colin Was Right?” Well, now Colin IS Right...Wing, that is. Ba-dum-pshh.

Fining men every time they masturbate? That’s one way to raise money for The Wall.

“why don’t they have a straight pride parade?”

Times have been tough for this bro ever since the judge ordered him to stay at least 1000 feet from schools and daycares.

I guess you have to wait “til it happens to you” and then you might discover a line. There is no requirement to take responsibility for other people’s feelings. You just have to hold true to your own and perhaps appreciate that when others do draw a line it might be coming from a place that you are fortunate not to…

TIL if u flip ed sheeran on his side and stretch out his face just right, he becomes an irish flag