This year I told my parents that instead of Christmas gifts just to pay for my plane ticket home

You forgot to hashtag that #lifehack

I bought a 50 pack of chip clips for a couple bucks, they’re called clothespins.

It’s mainly a big deal in the sense that they (the paper) make a big deal about it, then the national media ever hungry for something to talk about makes a big deal about it. I’ve never talked to a voter anywhere and have “well X newspaper endorsed them, so I decided they were ok” been part of their decisionmaking…

But MJ’s kids have routinely — and with believable delivery — said he was a great dad to them. Maybe after a few more years in the normal world they’ll experience a mental record scratch and be like, “Oh... wait... so that was kinda weird, after all...”?

1am thanksgiving leftover snack consumption is in the gosh darn constitution.

I didn’t have a sandwich but we were packed leftover before going back to our hotel. We decided to leave them in the van cause I mean, why bother.

I’m thinking about the Boss and Wendy making their legendary break for freedom, her legs ‘round these velvet rims’, screeching to a halt at the closed GWB.

It’s very subtle and European in its cadence, and its palette. Which is really surprising, because neither one of us is well versed in that.

Tom knows that there will be thousands of years to spend with Suri, long after non-believer Katie has shed her mortal coil.

The weirdest thing about Tom Cruise is that when you watch him in movies, it feels like you’re seeing who he would be without scientology. Like in Edge of Tomorrow - his performance reads as a real person who lives in that universe, compared to the freaky glazed mannequin that did the press interviews for it in this…

THIS IS SOME OF YOUR BEST WORK BOBBY.

and that members of the Church of Scientology want him to keep his distance from the negativity

A leopard?

You are so right. The distance from mom’s brows to the top of her head in like triple the distance from brow to chin. And it isn’t even Texas High Hair.

AAAHHHH! THE FRENCH!

Male model turned pop star bodyguard is basically everyone’s dream partner. You get both the inside dirt and the dirty dirty sex.

Coco named her kid Chanel? I’m going to interpret this look as a look of disapproval

This would be me the entire wedding.