His name is Jason Pierre Paw.

It’s like Apex vs Starter all over again.

“Well you don’t have to rub it in.”

I’ve never called an elected representative in my life. I just did. I expected to have to leave a voicemail, but someone picked up on the first ring! This caught me off guard, so I stammered my way through what I wanted to say about the last couple of weeks, especially this weekend. Who knows if the congressperson I…

Press Conference in 2021: “The Washington Redskins are pleased to announce the hiring of our new General Manager, Albert Haynesworth!”

I referred to a couple guys as “hipsters” the other day and boy did they get upset. Apparently the politically correct term is “conjoined twins”.

Some of last year’s hipsters have moved on to trying to make serious points in the Deadspin comments section.

Went to a bar in Chicago, total hipster neighborhood, to meet up with friends. Some rail thin bartender with a handlebar mustache scoffed at me when I asked him if what his favorite beer was, like I was supposed to know. So now I go to my corporate job every single day and I will move up the management ladder until…

It’s not Ravens Flock. A group of ravens is called an unkindness. Which is really just so fucking appropriate.

You guys got owned by Ted Cruz

This helps explain why people call him a real motherfucker.

That’s not a radar gun. That’s a percent of effort given meter.

No windows here, just blank walls

Tony Kornheiser is an asshole and all of his opinions are bad.

“I’m an adult wearing a football jersey! You’re wearing a t-shirt from a team that my team doesn’t like!”

I’d start with when you get punched in the face and they fall down.

Overloaded leather is also his online dating profile name.

On Ashley, On Kelli, On Lauren and Stacy. On Becca, On Christy, On Kirsten and Lacey.

Dillon Brooks from Oregon. He didn’t even gloat, he just took a long 3 at the end of the shot clock when the game was well in hand. Krzyzewski is a Krzyzithead.