Katie went stealth. I’m sure in about 15-20 years Lifetime is going to make a Katie Holmes story and tell whatever tidbits they managed to dig up about it. If I’m alive it will be required viewing.

A friend of mine once worked for her briefly. She does not speak when she is at home in order to save her voice. She has different whistles for all of the people who work for her so that they know when she needs one of them. She sleeps a lot. It’s probably different now that she is mom, though.

My relatives still ask me “how’s school.” Um, well, I quit grad school 5 years ago now. And I don’t even teach anymore. So, work is great. And I work at a school. So school is great I guess?

Why would Alessandra Abrosio shop for her own line... If it’s her own line, wouldn’t she have the pieces already... or get them for free. #girlbye

“What’s new” - my least favorite question. It’s like, “I don’t know, my fucking cat killed another mouse in the house this week. And the other one kicked shit out of the catbox onto the carpet. Fuck. What’s new for you?”

Mariah has an over-the-top vision of herself

my personal favorite

How could you not notice the other snowmen on a stick? A set of 4 (literally 12 marshmallows) for the low price of 12.95+ S&H

You speak the truth. I don’t even find her annoying, I feel like she’s like an awesome rich aunt who is always on a nice xanax / reisling combo and can cook like a motherfucker.

Copy: “Belgian white, milk, and dark chocolate mice are tempered until smooth and creamy and neatly arranged in a tin, ready for giving.”

The damn thing was even sold out at one point.

As an official White Person From Connecticut™, I can brook much of this ribbing in good humor. My tartans and cakes and mug toppers will survive this onslaught of Magaryisms. My holiday good cheer will continue apace and my cup will runneth over with nasty-ass truffle oils while I listen to the Non-specific Winter…

LOL the Le Creseut pots. I moved into a new place earlier this year and my mom gave me her whole set as a housewarming gift - and as a reason for her to buy new ones. Fuck, when I found out how much they were worth I sold them all and used the money to fund my upcoming vacation to Europe and buy some cheap,…

No thanks. I’m buying this $85 rock from Nordstroms with which I will hit myself repeatedly to unconsciousness until 2020.

If she was wearing normal lingerie, I’d say less awkward for her than for a normal though still awkward, but no level of Being A Model could account for the vag wedgie going on right there.

Not even! “We can still be friends” at least says something, even if it’s “hey, I don’t like you that way, but let’s get ice cream?” Ghosting is nothingness.

I guess it’s good to eventually figure out that ghosting is shitty, but I can’t understand how anyone could possibly not realize that from the start. Studies and experts probably shouldn’t be necessary.

I thought that was the Queen with Kate Middleton!

Part of it is her otherworldly hotness but shes an action movie hero. Basically the female Tom Cruise.

Seems like a metaphor for the country as a whole