I thought the character was a girl at first too, but holy crap, you actually have known actual people who have this name for real? Like, something their parents gave them at birth?

Wait, what's a dog club?

I can't stand listening to this here
because your video is torture to my ears
so you don't have to think or wonder why
Denpa groups are a fucking thorn in my side
Wish they were just a mirage
I'm tellin all y'all they make my brain hemmorage

Man. That's really impressive. What a great job.

I'd do it, but I'd just give potential clients the dry heaves after looking at me, so it'd be tough to drum up business.

You know what? I am. I am happy. So there.

I will pay someone $10/hour to attend social events with me and push would-be huggers to the ground.

You know what else never got rebooted:

I remember an article in the pre-Nintendo Power publication they put out, "The Nintendo Fun Club Newsletter." Over time it got to be a fancyish magazine kinda thing, but the first few issues seemed like something they ran off on the office copier – I've seen indie zines with equal or better production value.

Whatever man, those secret handshakes aren't gonna learn themselves.

You know, I am basically the president and chairman of Team Rise (all Rise all the time) – but on Christmas, I went Yukiko. I don't know why. Chie's got spunk and Galactic Punt, but you don't want Galactic Punt in a relationship and she feels more like Best Pal material.

Some kid on the Something Awful forums has been drawing this ongoing ultraviolent comic strip about video game characters killing Internet trolls.

Wow. I think it's actually better, and I didn't like the Evolution version.

The website says Aura Kingdom.

Ah, sadly, the folks who need these instructions likely don't understand flowcharts either.

Actually there was a board game called Dragon Quest here in the States, so they changed it for copyright reasons.

I imagine the lack of tactile conversion would ruin the whole thing. I mean, running their hands across their chests, with the dude looking at boobs but instead running his fingers through his chest forest of nightmares – and vice versa – that's gotta cause some kinda weird literal cognitive dissonance.

You also have to live in the right area. Where I live, there's maybe 20 people in the area across OKCupid, Match and POF. So the choices are pretty sparse.

So, Craigslist, then?

GOT. DAMN.