I like that it gave Rachel Brooks a smartarse line to throw at Wynn Duffy in Justified.

I dunno. Is Sydney Sweeney comfortable with the requisite level of nudity required?

That theme tune is the most jaunty theme tune ever created.

Plus a ten minute musical number about the street where the troops on leave go to hook up with sex workers

Would these mysteries be...magical?

One of the hardest things for me when I went into journalism was listening to my voice back on the recorded interviews.

“Oh, yeah, in this version of Blade vampires have green blood.”

It’s Barsanti. He thinks the only way to do a job is as shittily as possible. Hence his output.

...take a look at my life, I’m a lot like you were...

It’s weird because the whole “video is the new text” thing was motivated by Facebook’s data which has been known to be faulty for years now, and their videos get a tenth of the comments their text articles get.

(As writers, we’re allowed to make that joke.)

Look, there’s only one set of Mennonites I ever want to see in a feature film:

This is the same joke the AVC review made and it was better there. Not off to a good start, Barsanti.

Ha! No, it’s more like Poirot has a famously egg-shaped noggin, and Branagh’s like the the world’s most cuboid-bonced bastard around.

We could perhaps use a simple stench rating scale: how many Lynx Africa cans out of five.

The only other cameo that comes close, I think, is the Corner Gas Kiefer Sutherland (and Shirley Douglas!) cameo...

Look, I have to say it: Branagh is worst fucking person to play Poirot based on phrenology alone.

I just want everyone to bask in the sheer awesome ridiculousness of this phrase.

Hey, you know how you guys judges Cannes events on ovation lengths?

Yeah, but that always rang hollow to me: he didn’t do it out of a sense of justice, it just came across as like a tearful instagram “apology” and promises of rehab of some starlet who ploughed into a pedestrian after her five breakfast mimosas.