Neither would have written this article.

Relative to current sci-fi blockbusters, it’s achingly sincere about its environmentalism, possesses no ironic-distance humor,

No one like’s feeling the pressure of this bloke’s gravy:

Ah, so it’s like of them Zen koan thingummies.

Uh, “danger zone”, “I feel the need - the need for speed!”, homoerotic greased-up volleyball, “Talk to me, Goose”, “I WANT SOME BUTTS!”, “Your ego’s writing checks your butt can’t cash”, the GODDAMN F-14 MOTHERFUCKIN’ TOMCAT, a shitload of US Navy recruits, Hots Shots...

“It was wonderful for creating a business model where we bypass all those pesky fuckin’ practical effects guys and their annoying unions, then outsourced their work to a bunch of salaried nerds who will basically work for less than minimum wage so they can go on reddit and boast about working on Avatar!”

“Take you ponytail, and touch it to the dragon’s ponytail, and you shall tame it!”

In Avatar land they had to basically decide that Na’vi eat funky space ramen to justify a place to serve food in the area

So...you’re saying the Ewoks are Kurds?

Whoa, predictable?

One of the many types of people I can’t stand are people who go around shouting “I DON’T KNOW WHY PHYSICAL SHOPS STILL EXIST.”

Oh - wait! Maybe that’s the impact! Weaver’s performance in it inspired Cameron to cast her in Aliens!

“The fact that the only thing people were saying about Avatar for an entire decade was that it had no cultural impact in no proves that Avatar had no cultural impact.”

This whole article seems an overly desperate stretch

I suppose you can expect the tattooist to keep track of all the needles. Bound to leave a few behind.

Oh, right. That was a thing. I remember now.

You know, I miss this shit from IRL retail.

I think the bad guy is Quarrel? Quint?

It’s a problem with all 3D movies, in my experience. They frame a lot of stuff not for how it best conveys the story or action, but how it best shows of the 3D gimmickry.

Sometimes I look at these things and wonder if they’re not done so much for the benefit of the groups portrayed in them as they are for the comfort of the majority: reassuring them that these minorities are, pretty much, as expected, and not unknown (and therefore not scary).