How can anyone trust an animal that thinks everything is hollow until they fill it up with themselves?

It's ok for him to say it. Sometimes he inserts his prick into ethnic women while emotionally connecting with them, so he understands their plight.

If by elves you mean space tiger prostitutes and by dwarves you mean nanochibimachines, then yes.

Moving to Antarctica is the solution. We were overdue for a new land grab.

Whatever living thing incorporates those baby parts, or eats them, gives the failed humans a second chance at life. They are assimilated into life's winner, letting them feel what was forbidden to them by fate. Society should be grateful we're redeeming these losers and drop-outs.

My semen is a local semen for local people.

SHUT UP SINNER! PIMPBOT 5000!

I don't blame Chappelle. I blame Trump for pissing away the goodwill of him and everyone else. Not everyone's cut out to be a nihilist in the face of change.

As great as Ian McShane is, I'd love to see Ed being a foul-mouthed abuser. Easy to forget he was in dramas long before Married With Children.

Behold, enlightenment to the hanky code!

You're right. He's a credit to his people.

In my day, we had to doodle in the white spaces around work sheets! And I liked it, and didn't care if the teacher told me to stop! Just because they couldn't comprehend what I was drawing doesn't mean it wasn't relevant to the topic of their oration!

Time isn't holding up. Time is an asterisk. And that asterisk is a fidget spinner.

No, I'd argue the recently born are stupid. They're severely mentally under-developed because they need their heads to be small enough to squeeze past the pelvis. First six months, they're all dead-eyed lumps devoid of personality and cognizance.

I'm still trying to find all those Raistlins that cropped up in the 90's. I suspect a ton changed it or tortured it into a normal-sounding nickname.

I wonder if that island had any unique indigenous fauna to keep the cats entertained, and if any of it is still around.

Maybe it’s time to stop not doing what you pretended you can do and
can’t, and start doing the thing that you can’t do, but can no longer
pretend that you can.

Those cars would rather die than continue their imprisonment in Leno's cemented twilight purgatory. They weep for the release of rust and raccoon infestations.

Makes you wonder how all those other animals manage to do it sober. Did evolution give us thumbs so we could ferment booze to make its job easier? Why aren't we fulfilling our destiny by making everything else drunk, including rocks and trees?

Just because America — the Greatest Nation That Ever Was or Will Be — demonizes any substance that interferes with the mind control necessary to keep Democracy Working, doesn't give you the right to don the foil helm and mock us.