It’s so on-brand that the Mariners would finish second even in a race to the bottom.

So Fenway

The Rays could play a game at the old Durham Athletic Park, where they filmed Bull Durham.

Those were precisely my dad’s first signs of dementia.  Have a nice day!

My Brit friend today: Baseball’s fuggin boring mate!

Meanwhile, Dan Shaughnessy’s left doing the chores:

High A. You’d think a sports reporter could get that basic detail right.

“I don’t disagree with [the notion] that they’re being exploited, but I think it’s for the betterment of everybody,” he adds. “I know it sounds crazy … I think there’s a middle ground...”

Preface: This is no defense of Angel Hernandez and other trigger-happy umps. Hernandez flat out sucks and shouldn’t be umpiring tee ball.

I think it’s important to note on every article about how much Angel Hernandez sucks that he is suing MLB for racial discrimination because he didn’t get enough post-season assignments, which are handed out on merit to umpires who don’t suck.

Alex Cora: BrockBot9000, run program “Average Right Field Defense”

“That’s something that you really can’t replicate even on a rehab assignment, because the game is so different”

Fun Fact*: Bob Seger songs don’t actually end. The title of the song repeats infinitely and eventually your brain starts ignoring it like white noise. The average person is unwittingly listening to 9.5 Bob Seger songs at any given time.

This is serial killer behavior 

I've had two friends now totally forgo the formal wedding and instead just get married at the courthouse and throw a party later. They spent the tens of thousands of saved dollars on a house down-payment and a month long honeymoon, respectively. Why the fuck doesn't everyone realize this is much smarter than blowing…

Peyton Manning’s United Way bit on SNL is still really funny.

Tom Brady just had that fan relocated to San Francisco. 

Stick to the topic. Who is complaining about this book? Not the Tuck Rule. Not Spygate. Not Ballghazi.

Manning retires with more. But take them at their word and trade Brady for someone in that 10-15 range, like, I don’t know, Stafford or Alex Smith? They aren’t winning rings. That’s the quote of a man drunk with power.

Hey fellow Mainer. We were just at Smiling Hill farm yesterday, as a matter of fact. I could drink fresh blueberry milk allllll daaaayyyy loooonggg.