Our quarterback actually said these words:

And I want to see this track-thing move at the same pace as the ball. I want to see that thing launch downfield as the quarterback throws one deep, and then I want to see it screech to a halt and fly back from where it came, most likely throwing its occupants, as the ball is intercepted and ran back downfield.  If…

My work for them is pro bono.  It makes my snark more pure.

How do you feel about their actual performance as beat writers? Isn’t that what actually matters? If they do a good job covering their specific team or sport, why do you care what color they are or how old they are? You aren’t looking at pictures of them; you’re just reading the words they write.

Excited to announce that The Athletic has signed me to make snarky comments in their discussion sections. Follow me there to find out more.

If NASCAR really wants to make the pits stops interesting and athletic, get rid of the impact guns and go back to a 4-way lug wrench.

It’s imperative that tire changers know.................righty tighty and lefty loosey.

Finally, they’ve made a visual representation of what having a Charlie-horse feels like. 

When asked what he thought about Ramsey saying he sucks, Joe Flacco responded,

They said the same thing about Drew. 

My little sister moved up from Chicago to Milwaukee and actually just got engaged to a Packers fan. He is just about the nicest guy in the world and is more than an overprotective brother could hope for in a brother in-law. He bought her a Rodgers jersey for Christmas last year and I now plan on making a scene at…

Josh Allen is definitely trash. He’s got a strong arm, and uses that strong arm to throw it nowhere near the wide receiver on short routes when they’re open.

I might not be much of a mathematician, hell i give up counting anything over 22, but even I know that every Beatles song was written by the 5th Beatle Clarence Walker.

I’m too afraid to find out for sure. I keep imagining a date where we hike to a secluded area only to have her start belting out ‘Someone Like You’ acapella.

I thought they’d figured out how you can have eight days in a week.

[Alarm clock turns from 5:59 to 6:00 AM. “I Got You Babe” begins to play. A BENGALS FAN lies in bed and opens his eyes.]

There’s just too many double consonants in that hotel’s name.

Wish I could say. Currently there’s an oat milk shortage in Brooklyn.

No need to be salty.