How do you know it’s shitty? You’re deaf.

And some of his podcast listeners are blind, but you don’t see them bitching about not being able to read his shitty-ass columns.

"Hey guys, here's what I want to do for my bachelor party. First, you get up early on a Saturday after you presumably worked all week. Then, you come over and help me load a moving truck. After that, you follow me over to my new house where you unload the truck. Then, you can sit around and wait for everyone to shower…

Bachelor parties are the perfect time to get all of your friends together and realize that your high school friends, college friends, and work friends all have absolutely nothing in common with each other. It's like counting the rings of a tree: you can chart your interests and maturity based on what stories your…

Oh, and Kevin? You're getting married AND closing on a house? Congrats, you're an honest-to-goodness adult now!

In the NFL, winning > sexual assault.

Drew, when your kids get older and read all your archived Funbags through the Apple Mind Melder Pro do you think that they will see all the shit you write abt them and murder you in your sleep?

I could a 50-egg omelet. I swear.

Jameis Winston threw nearly half as many TDs (25 down from 40) and nearly double the INTs (18 up from 10) than the year he had Kelvin Benjamin (including the third-most picks in the nation), often played from behind (thanks to leading the nation in first half picks), had no rushing game in his arsenal left, and has…

YES, do not get how Winston is the presumptive no. 1 pick. Maybe the alleged rape (oh, who are we kidding, the RAPE) thing is clouding my judgment, but I can't remember a guy that all the pro scouts seem to have so high look so pedestrian in college. He just sucks. DO NOT GET.

Green shit on your sons leg is better than the green and blue shit on your chest from last week

“Instead of five colourful fret buttons, there are six, and they’re arranged differently across three frets.”

man, every song you saw in this preview...

motion blur should be off/0% by default. because fuck motion blur.

I’m happy to see the trend of PC option menus showing how much VRAM is being taken up by features. It can’t be that hard to implement, or at least not that hard to estimate, and would alert users to a potential bottleneck on their hardware. There is no good reason not to include it to me when you have a decent degree…

I want to laugh but I can't. I just wrote a check to Uncle Sam and read this, makes my blood boil. The incompetence, arrogance and pure ignorance. Embarrassing.

Gotta make sure the penis is still there. Big part of baseball.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say Ortiz is joking with Ellsbury.

likely a reference to the 7-year, $153 million contract that lured Ellsbury to New York.

As a Yankee fan, all I can say is what a gigantic loser and a disgrace to the game of baseball this guy is. I’m really sick of this clown and everything he does. Seriously, get Stephen Drew off the fucking field.