They're never too young for "the talk".

Can I resurrect this meme?

Which lion face are you looking at?!

Disagree. Lion's face is full on "GTFO I KILL YOU NOW!" There is 0% "friendly" going on here.

The jus one.

[Beethoven’s 9th symphony begins blaring]
[images of hyenas eating corpses]
[images of ISIS beheadings]
[penile plethysmograph needle starts vibrating]
[images of Bambi running around in forest fire]
[images of race riots]
[images of universal collapse]
[penile plethysmograph needle scratching faster]
[images of medieval…

Your repeated requests that I not read into this are causing me to read into this.

So he got married?

It would be much cheaper if the Yankees paid opposing pitchers to walk or plunk him.

Hopefully they don’t have an interleague game at Wrigley this year, because if he sees hundreds of cups full of pee, he may go catatonic.

It really is remarkable that the Yankees managed to make A-Rod a sympathetic figure.

When I was learning to sail as a kid, I learned these knots. (I remember less than all of them, though...)

Uni knot for tackle fishing. Dead simple so you can do it fast while the precious hit is on, the boat is rocking all over the place, and you've had a few beers. There are other specialized fishing knots, but this one's easy, streamlined so it won't catch, and has far fewer ways to fail than most of them. Need to…

Not even Drew's polo shirt?

Nothing is better than this.

I’m really quite fond of the buttered popcorn flavour.

At some point in history my kids got possession of fake dog shit that looks troubling real. They use it often and it has been an April Fool's staple in the past. This morning I went into the bathroom and saw it on the floor, Ha Ha real original guys. It was only after I'd picked it up with my bare hand I realized…

My 1.5 year old smelled like she crapped her diaper.

My son was born on April 1st and that little disappointment continues to be the cruelest prank the universe has ever played on me.