If the preceding games are any indication the Browns will react by being completely indifferent and will prepare by doing nothing much at all.

Again, I cannot emphasize enough how little I think of GWB.

This is likely the biggest mistake I’ve ever made on Kinja, but god help me, here I go.

Duh. Everyone knows that only polar bears migrate, not chicago bears. 

Is an ‘office griddle’ like a Midwestern thing? This doesn’t seem normal. Do you guys also make casseroles at the office for lunch?

As the resident Cardinals fan at this Chicago office, I made bacon and pancakes for everyone this morning on the office griddle. I figured after the Cardinals spent all weekend fucking the Cubs, I should at least cook them breakfast.

Yep. I love how many people live in this fantasy land where a company can provide the same product/service for less money and make a profit without any tradeoffs. And nobody ever question it because of course government is bad at everything. 

This is not a Santa beard. This is the look of a homeless man who was taken off the streets and cleaned up to stand behind the city council while they have a press conference extolling the virtues of their “labor-for-soup” program.

Andrew Luck 2012: *Takes a sack* Great job, man. Insane hustle. You really got me.

Andrew Luck 2019: You even just look at the ceiling and wish you could stop existing? Like, not die, but just POOF and cease being altogether. Maybe it’s nothing but motionless, soundless black. Complete emptiness. Nothingness. But it’s…

I’ve found an extremely high correlation between “houston sux” guy and “lives in Katy and eats at Chili’s on I-10" guy. Try moving to civilization and you will find civilized things - as others have done.

Houston is a surprisingly pretty city, with a cool arts center, a robust tech background, extremely fun bars, and a burgeoning food scene with one of the greatest items I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.

If Trump wasn’t a traitorous white supremacist grounding our country into the pavement, there’d be an almost endearing Baron Munchausen quality to the man. One day a visitor at one of his hotels or casinos, who happens to own a used car dealership in a small town in Michigan, pays Trump some benign compliment, and…

That moment also produced one of the greatest NFL memes in internet history:

browns fan here: i actually was rooting for the browns to lose that game, just because the steelers missing the playoffs meant so much more to me than the browns finishing with a winning record.

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

What I find hilarious about this is that Conservatives used to always talk about how the free market was the solution to everything. But when people actually use the free market system to punish companies with bad views, suddenly they all get up in arms that liberals are actually doing what they said to do.

Cleveland fans have been so deluded by a single Cavs title — the result of a once-in-a-generation level hometown talent committing an act of charity that would have made Jesus blush — that the Browns trying to replicate that model. But the moral they took from the story wasn’t finding a “once-in-a-generation level…

the most accurate part of is that he punts from basically his own goal line. even in the land of make believe the Browns have shot themselves in the dick 

The thick skin is typical for the original Bavarian Weißwurst. You can eat it, as it’s organic, but most either cut it open, or push/pull/suck the meat out with their teeth. This is called zuzeln, and is about as elegant as you imagine.