It's no fun being an illegal alien!

Fun fact: The drum breakdown from "In the Air Tonight" is also in "Take Me Home" and, no kidding, the lighthearted party jam "Dance Into the Light." Man LOVES him some drum breakdown.

No, THE SALEM SLOT by Stephen Queen.

I don't know how it's rated in the series, but CHICKEN CHICKEN was my favorite. Man, transformation stories freaked me out as a kid (and still do, in a way), and a story that describes - in vivid detail - two kids gradually turning into chickens was just… THAT was deeply unsettling.

"Hello, my name is Sarah Vowell, and I am a superhero. I think that's obvious. Here is my super-heroic map of United States autumnal wind patterns, my super-heroic hair of abolitionist guerrilla warrior John Brown…"

FUCK YOU :)

It's still downright bizarre to me that the Oscar producers haven't (seemingly) tried to snatch up Colbert at any point this year.

"Sir Philip played the harp
I cussed the thing
I crowned him with his harp
To bust the thing
And now he plays where harps
Are just the thing…"

Hey, I'm pretty good!

Those movies are kind of astonishingly bland, yeah. (Watching the second one, I remember thinking, "It almost seems like this dialogue is calculated to be as FREAKING UNINTERESTING AS POSSIBLE.")

I just keep getting the impression that Kat Dennings is the poor man's Ellen Page. She lacks charisma: like, she SHOULD be funny, she has the PERSONALITY to be funny… and then she's not funny.

I've been trying to find a next line - but honestly, I just felt like I'd be ripping this off:

The fact that they cut those three episodes doesn't change the fact that they were *going* to air.

And that's why Batman fights crime.

[Tommy walks into the room. Pause.]

Sadly, Dumbo's career in flight was cut short once it was revealed he was the son of the infamous "Mad Elephant."

Banks children: "She's floating! She's floating!"
Poppins: "And you'll float, too!"

(frantically scans through online Pokedex)

Man, I know what you mean: I had a pretty embarrassing crush on her at one point in college.

Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby, let me sleep on it…