UHHHHHHHH I NEED MORE OPTIONS

Ah, c'mon, Ike was a handsome man!

"I'm Non-Committally Amused, but Not Fascinated" - The Smiths

Shit, he'd BETTER do "Uuhhh"!!

Remember when they brought up the idea of Willow Smith doing a remake of "Parents Just Don't Understand"?

About the "Phil Collins saw someone drowning" myth:

Oh man, "Wear My Hat": nothing turns the ladies on like Phil Collins complaining about signing autographs.

Is anyone voting for Nader? I'm voting for Nader.

Jay-Z will be Vice President, of course. Just so Kanye can finally show him who's boss.

Waka 2020: "Finally, I Won't Have to Rap!"

Not if Dewey has anything to say about it!

I HAVE AN IMPORTANT BUSINESS MEETING IN BOSTON THIS MORNINGATNINEOCLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was visiting a Books-A-Million the other day, and they were displaying "anthologies" of the Star Wars novelizations. One book for the original trilogy novels, one for the prequels.

"PUSSY RESIDUE IS ON MY PENIS" - Obie Trice's awesome verse

That was their back-up option, after the idea of sending every American a second copy of "Frampton Comes Alive" was shot down.

(shakes State College-adjacent fist) WELL SCREW YOU TOO BUDDY

"Wouldn't it be weird if you died, and you woke up… and you were in Heaven?

"Look, Peter, the fucking has to go."

Billie Joe's mom, she's the queen of all the acrobats…

Nah, it'll lose the big awards to an inspirational pic about a man who overcomes physical deformity to produce THE FIRST WIVES CLUB.