Clearly the kid said, “Your mom loves mung!”

I read this five times. I still don't know what the hell he intended to convey.

Huge fucking spiders, kangaroos, asshole koala bears, and asshole kids. Australia is fucking terrifying.

Because this is Australia, I bet they’re also venomous.

Hey! You also get fucked!

Get fucked

Nah, I bet these kids were raised by kangaroos, who are famously shitty animals.

I really enjoy their usage of “get fucked.” I’m going to make a commitment to say that phrase to strangers at least once a day. Who wants to be my accountability buddy? 

Australia is the Florida of the world. Someone or something is always trying to kill you.

“You merely merely adopted The Gold Coast. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t see Bondi Beach till I was a man!”

Call me cynical, but I can’t help but wonder if behind these shitty kids there are some shitty parents hoping for a dumptruck of cash by being the next Honey Boo Boo-esque reality TV family.

“...after the two girls got in a fight over cigarettes, and abused an elderly lady inside the shopping center.”

Remember: it’s a nation whose cultural rootstock was convicts and undesirables.

They’re 9..... Just pick’em up off the car and toss’em into a pond, or a bush. It’s Australia, that would totally fly. The children are the descendants of convicts, let the wildlife of Australia have them. Drop’em in a ponder or river, Salt Water Crocs and bull sharks baby. The bush? Well, get ready for a Brown or…

That’s how you become a 2egend

It’s nice to know that the pleasant experience of shopping at a Westfield Mall is an intercontinental one.

“After the two girls got into a fight about cigarettes and abused an elderly lady.”

but did she pop the ollie off of some hot bitch’s tits? i think not...

Could be worse. At least he held back with “kid” to refer to a 27 year old, and not a similar word.