Who the fuck are you? You’re not entitled to daily takes. Why don’t you buncha cry babies go take your participant ribbons back to your safe space and seek your daily victimizations there.
Buncha damn snowflakes.

(I can do this daily until Mike Lupica gets a new program. You’re welcome.)

Aaron Sorkin’s due for another TV series.

I don’t know about you guys, but I couldn’t wait to get tediously lectured through the TV by the author of Tuesdays with Morrie every Sunday morning.

Where will we get our takes about millennial entitlement?

When I put a can of Hamm’s, a rusted 20lb dumbbell, 16 bags of beef jerky (plain), and a pair of sturdy cargo shorts I bought on sale at Kohl’s into a 1992 Ford Ranger with 210k miles on it and parked that thing in the blazing hot sun I never knew the child I created in that hot fusion cell would be born as a fully…

“See, the thing is, the reason you want to drain the swamp is, once you get enough of that murky brown gathered on the tarp, you can really take a nice long mud bath. It’s good for the skin, keeps mosquitoes away, and provides ample camouflage so shop owners don’t take their brooms to shoo you away from their…

He’ll receive two paychecks because he also drives the team bus.

Washington football: the open boxcar of the NFL.

Finally we get answers to two of the NFL’s burning questions: 1) How long before the Colts finally hold their front office accountable? and 2) What would it look like if Todd Haley had a kid with McKayla Maroney?

Well judging by the picture, Grigson will be headed Eastbound and Down

Irsay: “There were really just too many bumps to ignore here.”

i mean, can you really end a success story with “and that city? Detroit.”

Nothing brings people of all races together like ignoring MLS.

I don’t know. An eastern European country having an undue influence to swing a vote to a mediocre white dude seems pretty fitting for where we are as a country right now.

10/10 would read this story again.

Schilling is the perfect encapsulation of the modern GOP.

This is peak Shilling, right here. Pure, uncut Shilling—you get all the arguing, with practically zero relevance or importance. It’s one step removed from incoherent mumbling to oneself, which, without Twitter, is exactly what he would be doing.

It’s true what Lao Tzu said - the dumpster fire that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

the story is as good as winning the money,”

When the Browns were 0-3 I saw the possibility of a winless season and starting betting on them to lose. Over a three month period, my initial investment of $300 had grown to $304.61 before that crushing Week 16 victory against the Chargers left me penniless.