What if - hear me out - we had a utensil that combined the scooping ability of a spoon with the stabbing ability of a fork? I don’t know what we’ll call it but there’s probably a portmanteau that will work.

I still stand for that flag, for I am not a soyboi cuck

AND I’D SURELY STAND UP! NEXT TO YOU AND SAVE ON MY NEXT RENTAL.

Of all the Boston-area franchises, the Bruins and their fans are objectively the least loathesome. 

As a Blackhawks fan I really never expected to ever cheer for the Blues in a final, but superfuck the Bruins.

Please please please please please please...  Oh please beat the Bruins...

My favorite part about offroading and mudding is that just about any vehicle can have fun doing it. This poor little smart fortwo has been my Gambler 500 rig for two years running. It rocked yet again last weekend!

There’s some dangerous gambles the WWE can take but they COULD have huge pay offs.
1) Change Brock Lesnar’s name to Bork Lensor.
2) Have him carry the “Money in the Bork” briefcase.
3) Make him a dog.

This is a tough call. There are fixes, and then there are “anxiety inducing nightmares” that border on taking years off your life.

That feeling where you read an article and find you have views that are quite different than the author, but in no way are they close to the views the author has characterized as the opposing view...

Days of Thunder is a goddamn masterpiece!

Dude.. have you seen the Nats bullpen pitch?? They would have been better off having Max finish that game left handed. 

I would add that they should install a smooth hard surface of some sort over everything beyond 400 feet so that if you hit what used to be a home run, that ball is never going to stop rolling. Also institute a rule that you can run the bases multiple times for multiple runs, but if you’re on your second or later time…

In less than a split second, if Sundqvist breaks right, we’re not talking about this at all. Full speed, having to make a decision...I don’t know. I like the physical play in hockey, but have to draw a line somewhere.

TLDR: I have no idea how i feel about this. Except i hate Boston.

Um, you absolutely get to pull your goalie for an extra attacker on a delayed penalty

Bottom of the pumpkin guy needs to be put on some sort of list. 

Exactly.  Everest has become Coachella.

I don’t follow hockey at all outside of an occasional article, but how the fuck is Phil Kessel just 31?

I’m holding out for the rarer Billy Ripken “Fuck face” signed Gacy painting. 

Today in “human beings perplexingly defending other human beings that were being assholes” ...