I had not heard that one. Wow, just wow. 

Did you see Malkin punch Carlson in the face during a scrum earlier in the game? Classic Malkin.

Fuck Malkin and also fuck you

“beautiful country filled with cunts”

It’s like the “inator” schtick from Phineas and Ferb. The villain creates evil shit and names it “whatever-it-does-inator”!

Same with hot dogs. The perfect side for a hot dog is another hot dog.

What else am I gonna eat alongside a hot dog?

Poithon, poithon, that girl is pooooooooooooooiiiiithon

The term he’s really looking for is “cum-dumpster”

No, fuck a duck

Land’s End t-shirts are what you need. Solid color choices and just the best fitting t-shirts I’ve ever owned. I have roughly 984725 of them now.

Still trying to figure out how Sullivan ever got the book.

Actual footage of me getting ready for my colonoscopy

Yes! I’ve been hit with the Walmart gift card across Deadspin and Jalopnik today. Glad it’s not just me. I guess.

Reminds me of the car in the Stallone movie “Cobra”. One of those movies that’s so bad, it’s good again.

What did it run? Need some numbers here please.

My friend had a mid-80s Ford Econoline conversion van with a loudspeaker on it. If someone cut him off in traffice, they got “I’m driving a 4 ton killing machine, don’t cut me off again!” at 9384785 db.

Mama Celeste pizza was my jam when I was a kid. And you’re correct about Stouffer’s French Bread pizza. That shit rules. Even with the guaranteed roof-of-the-mouth burn.

Username checks out. And I’ve been seeing some of these words lately as I research why my shoulder is jacked (rotator cuff).

Ooooh, that WCW. I got all excited for a World Championship Wrestling expose on 5-time WCW champion Booker T. I would read the shit out of that.