I hope Ohio gave the third grader a Toys R Us gift card for the winning design.

I hope there’s a casino in the Boston area that will need a bouncer when he retires.

chick sue flay you taste so good.

The cop said you should all be fine, Tom Osborne must have already talked to the police and told them that nothing happened and the University will suspend the players for an entire half of the upcoming game against DeVry University.

These pretzels, are making me thirsty!

Maybe Ben Carson has a plan, after taking office he will go after ISIS and stab them in the belt buckles and attack their heads with rocks.

Both Republican & Democrat debates from this point on will have the candidates blubbering on about how they would deal with ISIS. The only person I feel close enough to speak about it would be Hillary as past Secretary of State. It will be easy for these folks to promise the moon with answers that will never work. I…

I can only try to imagine the reaction of the security guard who initially found this douchebag with explosives strapped to himself. It’s not like finding a gun on someone and having a chance to wrestle it away, you know seeing a belt of explosives it’s only a matter of seconds before it’s detonated. Thank god they…

This calendar always makes me master"bait" like crazy, then I feel "gill"ty and I have to "scale" back. I know that's bad but "carp"e diem. I'll let myself out.

There was a carp in the photo?

If the NFL was like the Premier League, Cleveland would have be relegated to the Polish American Football league in the 90's

I'm copywriting his nickname, "Johnny Sandwich board"

I'm sure he just figured that no one else on the Browns has any professional experience.

You win the competition, you get my vote and my sympathy. What a vile story.

I bet this was the same guy eating the loose turkey out of the package.

I don't give a rat's ass if these companies make it or not, I just hope there are less TV ads, that would be a win for me. One ad out of every three on TV makes me want to hate that product no matter how good it might be.

Maybe Lindsay is going to marry ol Charlie in prison.

Fun fact 2: I share a coke dealer with Lindsay Lohan!!

I'm sure Kim Davis will be a celebrity there the opening week.

I was surprised someone else didn't beat me to it, I'm not the sharpest knife in drawer.