So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is “wut r u doing wit my daughter?” U tell ur girl n she say “my dad is ded”. THEN WHO WAS MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL?

> Ambidextrous relief pitcher Pat Venditte is ambidextrous has been Major League Baseball for about a year.

Conservatives: “This country is so PC no one can speak their mind!”

Skip Bayless is what a full grown man looks like with an undescended penis.

By removing Bayless from humanity, wouldn’t he ultimately be helping protect mankind? Some real iRobot shit there.

I kinda wish Cleatus decided to not follow Asimov’s first law for that photo.

“You guys are heroes”

The only thing worse than Rainier Beer is Olympia. It’s still the only beer that has an excuse for a slogan.

I bet his burps reek of semen...

I am a Seadderal Cheathawks fan. They are cheaters and I do not care. I also like Kombucha and my wife brews it at home. I would do it myself but I am a big dumbass and would probably piss in it on accident.

The Chargers finally got Bosa...

If there ever was a NFL player destine for a sex scandal involving Thai ladyboys and ass eating it would be DangerRuss Wilson. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Columbine outshot their opponent 168-0 and somehow still managed to lose.

He’ll be right up there with Clebold and Harris as one of the greatest shooters in Columbine history.

Carlos Beltran, New York Mets 2005-2011

Looks like someone’s been Boozin’.

I think this is a terribly unfair criticism of Drake. Sure he “said” it but he almost certainly didn’t write it.

But Rocket sucked in the pros. So he was fully vindicated.

/deletes kinja account