So I wrote/made/graphic'd/whatever'd this, after learning the most-penalized game ever played in NHL history happened exactly 10 years ago... yesterday. (Learning about anniversaries a day late, very Deadspin.)

Pat's suspected of getting inside Vanna White, Pedocub's suspected of getting off inside a White Van.

REF 1: "Alright, let's sort this shit out, I've got a 10-minute misconduct to Wilson, and game misconducts to Lecavalier and Erskine. That all?"

"Plus, they actually re-named the day in honor of me! They must've found out the nickname my parents had for me as a child, because everyone's been calling today Fat 2's Day!"

Some clubs were buyers, and some clubs were sellers at the deadline, but for some reason, Tim Thomas bristled at the question of whether he was happy to become a member of the Dallas buyers' club.

LINDY RUFF: God damnit. God fucking damnit, guys.

Lightning management may have gotten the short end of the stick, but their equipment manager got the end of the short sticks.

I'm convinced that "Rob Ford" was a character created by Jimmy Kimmel in 2003 as a viral prank, and that at the end of the segment the man playing Rob Ford would just revert to his normal voice as a classically-trained British theater actor.

Usually, the only time you see the Millionaires and the Senators get together is at Republican Congressional Committee fundraisers.

"Minus-five, with chances of a weak Flurry"

Reporter: "Allen, is there something in particular that you picked up and started doing after years of watching and learning from Michael Jordan?"

Don't count the Penguins out here. Sidney Crosby is used to seeing through of fog of glittering dots.

Y'know what I think would be really cool to see? A guide to each MLB team, in the vein of Magary's annual NFL team guides, but for the hordes of casual/outsider baseball fans. A shitload of MLB preseason guides exist, but they're dry as fuck, like Honey Fibre Original Cafe Mix or whatever Marchman eats for breakfast. "…

Would pay $20 cover to see a touring show of just Deadspin writers on stage arguing about food

Great. GREAT. Now you've gone and pissed off the actual, official Cap'n Crunch Facebook page.

Some guys can pull it off.

He bought me a beer once at the Fox & Fiddle just west of the Dome (there's honestly a 75% chance you'll see him there on any given night during the baseball season) so he seems like a generous cat. Anecdote, though, I heard Brett Lawrie once gave a waitress at a downtown restaurant $40 on a $39 bill.

Who do you have in mind when you're casting the film adaptation? I'm feelin' Hank Azaria as Alex Anthopoulos, Reginald Veljohnson as Cito Gaston, Jesse Tyler Ferguson as Roy Halladay and John C. Reilly as BJ Ryan.

I've followed Dirk since he was a Jays prospect, through his first 2 books, and just yesterday I picked up his latest one. Super excited to dig into it. Can't recommend this guy enough.

It's always a winning move whenever I play Cards Players Against Humanity.