Would still rather piss with this person next to me than Curt Schilling

What if there was an all-time moment, like a walk-off grand slam to end a World Series or somebody hitting a full-court shot at the buzzer to win the NBA finals ... but it was in game four of a series sweep? Would it be replayed as often and likened to similar moments in non-blowout series...?

Millennials won’t remember this, but Hillary Clinton was once arrested for masturbating in a movie theater.

Tried to explain the concept to the show Dinosaurs to some cousins in their mid 20s, they 100% thought I was fucking with them and making it all up.

Millennials won’t remember, but Dinosaurs used to wear flannel and SOAP was something you’d wear on your feet.

What a bummer she can’t have infant formula. Sucks to be her!

I had a March Madness style bracket of 64 baby names (32 girls, 32 boys) that I sent to my family to fill out. No one even opened the spreadsheet.

Millennials won’t remember this, but Warren G. Harding gave out Blow Pops and stripper-grams to every American teenager who pledged to vote for him.

A married couple we know recently got pregnant, and sent my wife and me an online survey to rank potential baby names.

I think it’ll be fun to fuck with people on the internet by prefacing everything with “Millennials won’t remember but...” and just make shit up.

I was there at the top of 215. The Caps fans around me were totally fine and mature. We embarrassed ourselves last night. Guy next to me was the worst offender of them all, and his 4-year-old daughter on his screaming wife’s lap looked absolutely terrified. It was a disgrace all around. Have been a season-ticket…

Any Caps fans in the crowd would have been beaten up long before that incident occurred.

Sure, maybe there were some Caps fans guilty of it, but there were way more Flyers fans involved. Don’t even try and rationalize any of what happened last night.

It makes you look bad and you should feel bad.

It was a false flag operation.

Ah there it is. The wristband truther. That is fucking amazing.

At least the fans’ wrist shots were more accurate than the Flyers were.

Huh, I didn’t know T-800's had childhoods. TIL.

Toews is JJ Watt without all the sanctimonious douchebro tweets about it.

“I’m blue da ba dee da ba die”

Nope, those are his readers.