It was such a lazy-cop-out response. You could literally say ‘Who gives a shit’ to just about any problem, great or small. The universe is uncaring chaos and entropy will eventually wipe away any semblance of our existence. Because of that, its easy to say ‘who cares’ to just about anything. And keep in mind, Fuck Up…

Man, I’d love to but I have yet to see any of the Asian restaurants in my area reopen. My go-to favorite one has been closed for over a month now and I really fear they may not reopen. 

I wouldn’t waste my breath arguing, getting very strong libertarian-capitalist-boot-licker vibes from them...

The problem is that restaraunts that were designed to primarily make the majority of their money through dine-in sales and either didn’t offer delivery at all or only did minimal delivery business are suddenly having to completely change their business model through no real fault of their own.

Also, if you can do it, do curbside pick up. 

I mean, that’s great and all, but its not indicative of a lot of the stuff I’ve seen. Of course Cali seems to be taking corona virus a lot more seriously than other states as well.

If people stayed away from each other, but theres a golf course near where I work that I pass by frequently and over the last several weeks, I’ve seen clusters of people, sans masks, out playing golf, definitely closer than 6 feet from each other. 

I’ve seen golf courses operating this whole time. Is it wrong of me to secretly hope all the rich fuckers who’ve been flouting social distancing get this shit?

I mean, in their defense, this was probably conceptualized, reviewed, approved, sent for production and actually made months ago before any of this happened. 

Just check around on whatever various streaming platforms you have. I think I came across it originally on Netflix but may not be on there anymore. (also, if you want some more animatronic-pizza-chain creepiness, check out the short horror film ‘The Hug’ on Hulu. Its like 7 minutes and its great.) Although, I have to…

This seems like a good time to mention that you should watch The Rock-a-Fire Explosion, a documentary about Showbiz Pizza, which was the precursor chain that eventually morphed into Chuck E Cheeses. If you think the current gen animatronics used at Chuck E Cheese are unsettling, you ought to watch this and take a…

Has he reached the point where he elevates to a higher level of being?

Even Sheriff Buford T. Justice and his dumbass son.

Smokey and the Bandit is an American classic and deserves a spot among the best films ever made. I’ll fight you on that. It never takes itself too seriously and is all the better for it. I’ve nothing against the F&F movies, but they just seem too wrapped up in appearing maximum badass and cool all the time, while…

“Huuuwaaaay!”

*glares in annoyance*

Shane Torre’s bit “A man named Fieri filled with fury” is probably one of the funniest stand up bits I’ve heard in the last decade. It’s just wall to wall gold zingers...

First it starts with the convenience stores, then its the grocery stores and cafeterias. Next thing you know, this time next year we’re going to be buying pets and used panties from our boxy overlords who greedily eat our dollars!

Not to make fun, but its hilarious that you tossed off ‘pomegranate molasses’ like it was some kind of pantry staple.  

Oddly enough during the initial surge of panic-buying that drove toilet paper to the brink of extinction, you know the one thing that was on all the shelves that i was certain would be bought up in bulk? Booze. Seriously, the booze aisles were barely touched. And given that bars were shut down i was sure that booze…