Honestly, I have no problem with vegetarian alternatives that own what they are. Prepared right, tofu can be tasty and i like black bean/veggie burgers (well some i do, some are dry flavorless messes). What irks me about ‘fake meats’ is that, texturally and flavor-wise, they just don’t stack up. The texture is always…

That looks wildly unappealing. I’ve just never gotten into the ridiculously large food trend. After a certain point, literally any food item just becomes unweildy and sloppy as hell, especially any sort of sandwich. 

“And the winner is... Mia Marco’s!”

Did you have to have skin grafts done on your tongue as a result of a pizza burn? Do you even know the difference between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree burns? For reference, 3rd degree burns are severe enough for the damage to go all the way to the bone. 

It doesn’t take a particularly large bite of anything to get lodged. I’ve gotten choked a time or two in my life, and expected to hork up something roughly the size of a hard boiled egg only to find something barely bigger than a kidney bean. Also, she probably took the bite expecting to chew it up, thoroughly before…

Problem is, the McDonalds thing wasn’t a scam or an overreaction. That coffee was hot enough to cause third degree burns and require skin grafts. McDonalds deliberately put out PR spin to make the woman look like a greedy and ignorant doofus to trick the gullible, and based on your comment I’d say they got their…

I’m with you to a degree, but at the same time and much like the infamous McDonald’s coffee case, if these things were hot enough to cause serious burns, then they were way too hot. To me ‘too hot to eat’ means that i’ll probably experience some moderate hotness and maybe might end up with a blister or two. If…

“This is 100 percent the same thing as making children take their test on Christmas or Easter,”

Can you revive limp celery by letting it soak in water or doing the upright in a container with about an inch of water trick?

I’m about like you, Gwen: kinda in the middle. There are some sandwiches to which the addition to cheese would be odd if not downright unpleasant, but then there are plenty of sandwiches to which cheese is central to getting it right. A Ruben without the Swiss? No, thank you. 

It is interesting. On the one hand, unless you’re really into moonshine, its production and lore about it, you probably aren’t terribly familiar with the fact that ‘mountain dew’ was another term for it. And that most people, if you were to say mountain dew to them would think of the soda first and foremost. In this…

You’d think that a restaurant would want heftier people though...

Good. But if we’re being really honest, there are some restaurant seating where if you’re not waif-thin you’re going to have a hard time fitting into a booth or a seat. Like I don’t know what sort of fucking malnourished fucking LOTR Elves they’re expecting to be their main clientele, but its not even conducive for…

*edit* I meant to say the problem ISN’T the kid being gay but everyone treating them poorly because of it. 

I think we all know that ‘brown your butter’ refers to butt-stuff.

Can you imagine the amount of free food that would be given out if fast food companies did the same thing but with Wendy’s being a snarky little bitch on social media? They’d go bankrupt.

Fair enough, but most of the time when people talk about fakers when it comes to gluten-free items, they tend to be almost cruel, like ‘I’m going to give them regular bread and prove it!’ which is dickish under the best of circumstances. I don’t think that people that suffer from true food allergies/restrictions have…

I just can’t do Bubly or La Croix. For some reason those soda waters taste really alkaline or something. I like the Simply American waters you can get at Walmart. They are fruit flavored, very very lightly sweet without being cloying and have enough carbonation to get a good fix. And they’re dirt cheap. 

“Why does this bbq taste like someone pissed in it?”

Hmm, you’d almost think that IS what we’re talking about considering how we both repeatedly used phrases like celiac disease and food allergies. I mean, I get it, people that do the gluten-free fad are annoying, but its almost getting just as annoying to have some rando asshole pop in to say ‘yeah, but only people…