“This is 100 percent the same thing as making children take their test on Christmas or Easter,”

Can you revive limp celery by letting it soak in water or doing the upright in a container with about an inch of water trick?

I’m about like you, Gwen: kinda in the middle. There are some sandwiches to which the addition to cheese would be odd if not downright unpleasant, but then there are plenty of sandwiches to which cheese is central to getting it right. A Ruben without the Swiss? No, thank you. 

It is interesting. On the one hand, unless you’re really into moonshine, its production and lore about it, you probably aren’t terribly familiar with the fact that ‘mountain dew’ was another term for it. And that most people, if you were to say mountain dew to them would think of the soda first and foremost. In this…

You’d think that a restaurant would want heftier people though...

Good. But if we’re being really honest, there are some restaurant seating where if you’re not waif-thin you’re going to have a hard time fitting into a booth or a seat. Like I don’t know what sort of fucking malnourished fucking LOTR Elves they’re expecting to be their main clientele, but its not even conducive for…

*edit* I meant to say the problem ISN’T the kid being gay but everyone treating them poorly because of it. 

I think we all know that ‘brown your butter’ refers to butt-stuff.

Can you imagine the amount of free food that would be given out if fast food companies did the same thing but with Wendy’s being a snarky little bitch on social media? They’d go bankrupt.

Fair enough, but most of the time when people talk about fakers when it comes to gluten-free items, they tend to be almost cruel, like ‘I’m going to give them regular bread and prove it!’ which is dickish under the best of circumstances. I don’t think that people that suffer from true food allergies/restrictions have…

I just can’t do Bubly or La Croix. For some reason those soda waters taste really alkaline or something. I like the Simply American waters you can get at Walmart. They are fruit flavored, very very lightly sweet without being cloying and have enough carbonation to get a good fix. And they’re dirt cheap. 

“Why does this bbq taste like someone pissed in it?”

Hmm, you’d almost think that IS what we’re talking about considering how we both repeatedly used phrases like celiac disease and food allergies. I mean, I get it, people that do the gluten-free fad are annoying, but its almost getting just as annoying to have some rando asshole pop in to say ‘yeah, but only people…

I think overall its a good idea. It avoids the overreach and resulting backlash of a sweeping blanket ban on a particular food item while also getting kids used to the idea that not every meal has to have a meat item. I think they do need to be very cognizant of what activists are saying about making sure that meals…

Used sparingly, they provide enough tang to cut through the richness of the rest of the pizza. All things in moderation y’know? As far as kalamata, I really do love those but they just lack the briny zip of a green olive. 

And even with stuff that doesn’t have an offending ingredient as part of the actual food product, you also have to be on the look out for cross contamination. Food allergies are a special type of hell for people that have them. My wife is diabetic, and while typically we don’t have to worry too much about stuff (she…

Now, of course comes the Lifetime true-crime biopic. Once they get out, they should not only do this movie, but Loughlin and Huffman should play each other. 

I... the royal we, you know, the editorial... I dropped off the money, exactly as per... Look, man I’ve got certain information alright? Certain things have come to light, and uh, ya know, has it ever occurred to you, that uh, instead of uh, you know running around, uh uh, blaming me, given the nature of all this new…

I have a friend that can’t have dairy. Not so much a true allergy as he can’t process it (actually its some kind of protein found in milk thats the problem) and while not deadly, it apparently gives him horribly painful gas. Its a bit of a pain because when he’s over for dinner I have to make sure that stuff doesn’t…

I don’t think he identified as a taco. He tried to use a taco as ID. You also left out that he was drunk and he did all this after his car caught fire. And the best part: