Before I start, let me say I was a server for a decade, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for all service employees. But this story has become legendary in my family, so: Mr. Tigger and I moved for his job from the East Bay Area in CA to Austin, Texas. On our first date night after moving, we went out to…

This is the only white noise anyone needs.

This is the only white noise anyone needs.

There are many good things about running your own shop. One of them is that there is no corporate who will send you an email about customer x who complained about the management not being responsive to their complaint.

From what I understand, (after asking myself the same question over and over through my serving years and finally asking a doctor - so anecdotal and take it that way) your taste buds tend to lose function over the years and as that happens you tend to replace it with sensations of hot and cold... but as you introduce…

There is never an excuse for it. It's cowardly; if the guest is so egregiously awful that you are willing to do something illegal (it's assault), that guest needs to be confronted, shut down, and told exactly why they are never welcome in the establishment again.

People who don't wait tables often don't believe this, but there are plenty of people in this world who waltz into restaurants intending to cause a scene and get shit for free. They do it because it works! And it works because the corporate entities that oversee chain restaurants are damned fools who reward adults…

A good server has other ways of getting revenge

wen i "put extra love" into a custmer's order i think im the only one at my work place that doesnt mean to spit in it. depending on the order ill put extra of the most fattening ingredient. like out monte cristo for example, its a deep fried ham and turkey sandwhich with powder sugar on top and served with a side of…

I agree. As a cook who's put in my fair share of time as a server, fuck that noise. Hearing stories about it that make it sound like it is the norm to fuck with somebody's food when they're a jerk just makes the entire industry look bad. I have never known anyone to screw with food in a gross or unhygienic way. That…

Being a McPoyle causes that

KIRK CAMERON IS NOT ACCEPTABLE AS PAYMENT

Next week should be a server's revenge post to serve as a catharsis for this.

I can't possibly be the only server who thinks putting "extra love," whatever the hell that may mean, in a person's omelet is unconscionable, no matter how much of a dickwalrus the person is? I mean, unless "extra love" means "too much black pepper" or something. In my more than 20 years of serving, no matter how…

These are all utterly horrific stories. I look forward to seeing how people manage to defend even one person on the list.

I imagine that's tougher to do when it's a national chain restaurant. If it was a single place, with an owner-operator, probably would be more likely to happen.

Make them pay, and if they're douche-bags, call the cops, but then again if I'm not the owner of said restaurant maybe it's just not worth the hassle.

He turns to his bright-eyed eight year old, sitting but two feet from me, and says, "You see son? This is why you should stay in school."(FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU)

If you're giving prizes for best turns of phrase in BCO (consider it!), I nominate "Jesus freak dog fuckers" and "unsdisputed King of the Dickwalruses" from this week's batch.

People who play games with tips are the very worst. I used to work at a live music venue. When the doors opened, we got immediately slammed, so customers might have to wait a few minutes to order/receive their first round. We had SO MANY self-entitled assholes pull the "I was gonna tip you $5 (no you weren't) but I…

He goes on to explain that every time a "waitress" does something he doesn't like, he takes a dollar off the stack and puts it back in his wallet. According to him, this guarantees EXCELLENT "waitress" behavior.