Bullshit. Going to this kind of restaurant is like going to the Louvre and asking them to hang up some fucking Thomas Kinkade paintings. You're asking for an experience they don't fucking offer. Go somewhere that does, and stop wasting people's time.

Why do people like this even go to nice restaurants? You can get salad greens with ranch dressing literally anywhere or make it at home. The whole point of going to these kinds of high end restaurants and paying for an $18 salad is to have a culinary experience and eat something you can't get anywhere else. The chef…

one thing i love about bco is after it gets posted, people flood it with more awesome stories. it's the gift that keeps on giving.

I was serving a grandfather and his teenage grandson. The kid asked for a bowl of chili, at which point I explained that we were out of chili, apologized (why we as servers have to do this, I don't know, but we do) and told him the other soups we had available. The kid said, "But I wanted the chili." Ok, well,…

Best.

I saw the title of today's BCO and was somewhat offput... I mean, come on, I come here for the smarm, the scum, the tales of vengeful vengeance taken upon awful humanity by the righteous swords of server righteousness. At the very least, if there isn`t at least one monogrammed coffee thermoses moment, why am I ever…

Maybe a few of her tickets in the kitchen just mysteriously disappear...

do you have a sympathetic host to be your conspirator?

My first restaurant job, at a Buca di Beppo. A wedding party of about 40 people took up the large room, they were having fun and getting absolutely wrecked on shitty wine, it was a great time, but as the night wore on, they simply would not leave. We closed at 11, and 12:30 comes and goes and they're still at it. …

The second one reminded me of a woman that I used to have to deal with...

If you really wanted to be mean, you should have tipped well. Just to show that you're not a delivery driver.

I do have a resturant revenge story but it is not against the customers, it is against the manager.

I try to tip delivery folks well - and if I happen to have any fresh baked goods (which is fairly often in the winter) they also get offered a small bag of cookies or what have you.

I have had to sign 2 of these (one for for Starbucks!) and I am OVERJOYED that I will never have to work for these overlords ever again. At this point, I am convinced it is a measure to indenture the lower class. (You can quit/be fired), but never work for us again. Thanks!? I'm still not starving in the street,…

Non-competes are legal in most states, but in almost all cases the burden is on the employer to prove that they are necessary. For this reason, it is very unlikely that JJ would bother to try to enforce it in low level employees. In California, they are unenforceable in almost all circumstances per the California…

My first restaurant job was at the Marie Callenders next to the Santa Anita racetrack. I was 15, very meek and sheltered. There were a lot of oddball regulars who came in every day to have pie and coffee and look at their racing forms. One day I waited on this crabby old gal who told me her coffee wasn't hot enough. I…

My husband bemoaned my tipping practices, because I tend to overtip. He was all "The store is less than a mile away, you don't have to give them $5." But then we had a pizza guy that just about started crying when I told him I didn't want any change, giving him a $5.75 tip. He hadn't been sure he would make it back to…

Can someone register SandwichSecrets.com or something and start listing benign information about Jimmy John's?

I was bartending a shift for my restaurant's fifth anniversary when three uppity college girls came in and preceded to order elaborate, handcrafted cocktails all night. They were mostly just hanging out to win some of the prizes for our company's anniversary celebration plus snag free food. I mean, they're college…

Many years ago, my family went to a restaurant for breakfast and the server asked my little brother (he was probably 8 or 9 at the time) how he wanted his eggs done. After some pondering, he replied "deviled". I'm still laughing about that all these years later. Especially cause he truly was a little devil child.