Note to self after reading through comments: Try to find a different way to communicate how disgusting mayo is without making reference to the devil and/or spunk.

“If you scrape the mayo off my bread like a lazy asshole, I still know it’s there. I can still taste it contaminating my meal. I can feel it infecting my body...”

It’s not just team sports. Long time ago I used to run the USTA tournaments at a tennis club in Florida (no, not that one) and I had one father follow me into the bathroom to yell at me about his 12-year-old son’s seeding (no, not that one either).

That whole CD was much better than it had any right to be. Matthew Sweet doing the Scooby-Doo theme, Sublime getting stoned and giggling through Hong Kong Phooey... Of all the CDs that resulted from that weird tribute album phase of the 90's, that one is the only one I remember with any fondness.

Sure doesn’t sound like she was in heaven, this time.  But it’s only love, and that’s all.

It’s like someone took the wrong lessons from the Ugly Kid Joe version of “Cat’s in the Cradle.”

This is pretty much how local politics work. The only real change happens at the polls. It’s exceptionally rare that public hearings like this will sway any commissioner’s opinion. About the only thing these hearings accomplish is making the commissioners eat some shit before they vote how their corporate masters want…

Players like Tiafoe are not only good for the game but necessary.  For tennis to thrive post-Federer/Nadal/Djokovic, it’s not enough to have young, good players, but they have to have personality and variety in their game.

I’m a big fan of the runner’s knot with my shoes. Stays tied without being too tight and the laces pull through when you want to untie them. The only downside is needing longer laces, but I was replacing most of the laces immediately after I bought the shoes before that anyway because the included laces are usually…

As a gray ready to come out, I completely understand.  Most of us are insufferable.

In fairness, Europeans started sending their religious extremists to America 400 years ago.

You think Up with People wants to do another Super Bowl?

Brad Bird has already made his Fantastic Four movies. He just called them The Incredibles.

They wore their "19th Century Cash Register" throwbacks.

This is why nobody walks in L.A.

RDR2 is a bit of a slow burn at first, and the controls can be frustrating. But the world and the story are worth it. Just put off doing any missions for Dutch or Micah as long as you can.

The redder the image gets, the more it looks like Gruden is missing his front teeth in the top row.

And Emeril’s is gone from Universal now. The war for sleeveless dining in Orlando has been won by American tank tops and muscle shirts.

That’s not entirely fair.  We give a flying fuck about the troops whenever a football players kneels during the anthem to protest police brutality.

The NFL stole the idea of providing benefits only to those with above average time from the federal government.  One of the reasons that Social Security was set to pay out at age 65 was because the average life expectancy in 1935 was, IIRC, just under 60 for men.