Um, if it had nothing to do with the city, then why is the T-Rex short for Torontosauras Rex, idiot.

Seems legit. I am always tired after working out, but never tired after sleeping. Riddle me that science!

Given Zaza Pachulia’s (lack of) coordination, if he was actually trying to injure Kawhi Leonard he would have probably tripped over himself and decapitated a fan in the second row.

No, that’s a real thing. Drink twice for lying.

That, combined with the balls it takes for the dad to have his son kick a ball at a chocolate piece of cake on a beige carpet

Matin Kratt: “What if we could mate with sharks in the wild?”

No. It’s not offside if a defender plays a ball deliberately... that is to say, an opponent playing the ball intentionally (i.e. something other than a save or an accidental deflection), then it doesn’t matter where you are on the field, offside is effectively reset and you’re considered onside.

But actually, Boats Botes is the name of the year.

Poor Sultan McDoom - any other year, and he’d have been winner for certain. He’s like the 1990s Utah Jazz - a great team that would have been a dynasty in any other decade that didn’t include Jordan’s Bulls.

So [Watercraft] [Watercraft] was too on-the-nose for you, but [Protein] [Protein] wasn’t? Fuck you.

god damn it! Does this mean I have to get rid of this?

When I see a master chef, all I see is a man or woman who will continually try and fail to come up with something better than the double cheeseburger.

The problem with these playoffs besides the blowouts is that we all preeeeeeetty much know who the final teams standing are going to be and they are so easily demolishing everything in their path that all of these other games make it like we’re watching the NIT tournament

Caps would’ve won if not for all the Penguin’s ILLEGAL GOALS. So many bad goals allowed by terrible (or sick) reffs! VERY UNFAIR !

Apparently you misunderstood, too.

I, for one, am just glad we still have the CIA to defend our interests in democratic institutions and ideals at home and abroad.

Yes, how could you be critical of a man’s sportscaster work and not also wish death on his family?
The mind, it boogles.

Yeah because the 16-25 year old age group are famous for their safe driving habits and low auto accident fatality rate.

I choose to pronounce it the way it is spelled: retwopect. You know, like that show about the FBI agent and math genius, Numbthreeers?

Re2pect is pronounced “rethpect” right? Rethpect is earned. Rethpect means rethpecting the game. The players better rethpect.