The best non-conventional xmas movie is The Princess Bride

Why do they call them “buildings” when they’re already done building them? They ought to be called “builts”
Why are they called apartments when they are so close together?

Sam Barsanti is Johnny Depp’s condom, or else he wouldnt be riding his dick this aggressively. Show me on the doll where Johnny hurt you, Sam.

They buried mention of it all the way in the title of the article

I hear that before he burned out, that guy admitted that in retrospect, it would have been better to fade away.

The world is in a difficult place right now, what with the lingering pandemic, global recession, threat of world war... and I just really appreciate Jezebel bringing us these feel good news stories to brighten up our days.

You forgot the Bioshock Bread Boy!

Let’s ask Amber if she is a victim:

Respect is earned. It is not handed out freely to anyone just because they think dumb shit.

ikr. “People shouldnt exploit this case for clicks” and also “we worked long and hard to find a way to write an article about it even though we focus on video games”

Im not yet asks-the-cashier-for-a-”winning”-lottery-ticket years old yet, but I can feel it creeping up on me.

Zack doesnt understand the difference between revenue and profits. Dont be like Zack.

Missed you, Fahey!

It’s really funny to me how Jimmy Kimmel acts like he’s never had a really good day. Dude started out as Ben Stein’s lackey. Like sure Jimmy, nothing has worked out for you. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go ice my eyes, they hurt from rolling so hard.

Andrew Callaghan keeps it 55th St

Thank you!

Completely unrelated to the article, but how is Mike Fahey doing?

“The final decent and landing phases make up only four percent of flight time, but account for an incredibly 49 percent of fatal accidents”

I would have thought that suddenly impacting the ground would be closer to 99% of fatalities. Can someone please tell me how more than half of airplane deaths happen IN THE AIR?!?!

If you ever feel bad about yourself, remember; 6.9 million people like looking up this dude’s nose