What do you have to live for if you can’t fuck the M&M’s spokescandies?

That countdown-to-the-18th-birthday shit is just so fucking gross, and it hasn’t gone anywhere. Millie Bobbie Brown and Billie Eilish both had to suffer it lately. I wish we could make some kind of unofficial online registry for guys who do shit like that, so they could never get laid by decent women again.

“Secondly, it’s unknown who cobbled together Bey’s setlist and whether or not she had a say in it at all”

Anne Hathaway might not be the greatest Catwoman of all time. But also she might be

Would you be ok with it if it was a detail about your own personal life that anyone could google and would probably get brought up every time you did something in your work life?

The less you use it, the longer you can use it.

*Puts on bifocals*...I wish short guys had the “short king” confidence baaaack in myyyyy dayyy. As a 6'1" woman who was attracted to men of all heights in my dating days, the short guys were vicious and arrogant — clear symptoms of insecurity.

You can’t remember the adorable Paul Rudd?? Shame!

He is luckier than me, which is unlikeable.

I think you’ll find that a) people aren’t “its” and b) you’re an asshole.

Can we also get rid of the #GirlDad shit as well?

Exactly. You have to read them doing The Voice.

We’re here for snark - not self reflection. How dare you!

I was amused reading the text and imagining him singing it in his weird, high-pitched human synthesizer voice. 

Yeah, we’re going to need more gossip.  Thank you.

The funniest critique on this was someone saying that they weren’t being racist, they just like realism in their shows. Realism, in a show where elves exist lol

A reminder for all our super-racist friends out there:

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