And one for each of your roombas?

We should stem this before it blooms into something that is out of control.

We should stem this before it gets started.

there is no way this is real. Or ... IS IT?

I moved on this like a bitch.

The driver was clearly a cut below the rest.

Pennywise would make a better president. “Yes, I may be an intergalactic spider from space that subsists on a diet of the souls of children, but even I understand the importance of maintaining a tentative diplomatic relationship with China to protect our economic interests on the world stage. This go it alone…

can we hold each other for next 4-8 years, please???

Having once been an 18 year old girl, I can confirm that no 18 year old girl should really be driving a Ferrari.

of course, there’s no law saying the President-elect has to

On the bright side: This means Putin isn’t getting daily briefings, either.

I love you.

Hey President Dumbshit! Even smart people need to read to actually know things. Being smart doesn’t mean you just magically acquire knowledge. It just means that you’re capable of processing and understanding what you read!

Meat popsicles

Yeah, those controversial gender bending videos with black Jesus figures were a large part of it. As was taking a profoundly sexualized woman and putting her own sexual fantasies at the center of that was another. And, in case this comes as a shock to you, it’s possible to have both Madonna and Cyndi Lauper in a…

Two days later and I’m stiil giggling at this line...you are terrible...and by terrible I mean pretty fucking awesome.  

I’m just having the biggest crush on Kate McKinnon in any role.

This is so hilariously untrue 0- so there were no gay men in the audience? Bwahahahaha.