OMFG

and this, is why rm is my bias.

it was terse, but also, i thought, effective.

what can i say? i’m a very literal person, and only read the cover of my how to pick up girls book.

i’m actually surprised you arent sacked from more gigs.

i got a car, a can of gas and a zippo - let’s exact some jeztice!

made it twice, it would appear.

i never hated her before, and i have no intention of starting now.

not sure how many times and for how long i need to apologize for this, but you are worth it:

he doesnt want anyone eating his apples, lest they get to the core.

What do you think she ran into?

real talk - i am questioning if you’ve ever had one.

buy a klondike bar.

Lewan really unloads the entire staged-sincerity arsenal

The parade purports to celebrate “[h]eterosexuality, masculinity — femininity, babies — born and unborn, Western civilization, our wonderful country and Christianity,”

this sort of thing was definitely easier back when i used to drive a british car...