I agree. When the wedding is in town, I give a gift. When I have to travel, I tell my friend that my presence is going to have to be my present. No problems so far. I’d say that if a friend gets pissed about my budget, that person is not actually my friend.

I doubt it would work, considering public hangings used to be an popular form of entertainment.

Funfetti is the best box cake. That’s just a fact.

they can’t consummate it because marriage is between a man and a woman

I’m always angered when I look at Dax Shepard, but then I realize I’m really angry at Dane Cook.

No need! I replied to you before I realized you were being deliberately obtuse. Multiple people have explained that the purpose of this piece was to unpack some of the consequences of assault (hypervigilance and anxiety), but you don’t want to hear it. I don’t think we have anything further to say to one another.

Couldn’t agree more. He richly deserves whatever punishment he gets. That video of him with his “monkey lure” with the banana and the rope was just unspeakably horrible.

Honkey Kong!

That is SO depressing. And I’m sure those dumbasses thought that America was safer without one of those “dangerous” Muslims working in the FBI, when of course, the opposite is the case. It’s depressing to think how many dangerous/disastrous blunders might have been prevented if the workforce of our national agencies…

When people are talking while standing in front of you in line, it’s kind of hard to not overhear what they’re saying.

It’s happened to me in France and America several times. Guys get the wrong number, and for some reason they just keep calling. At least now I can block them. It’s kind of funny, since I’m just average-looking and don’t usually get much attention from men. My voice is sexy though? I guess I missed my calling as a…

I do it too! No point in ruining another one, right? I prefer to think it makes me thrifty, though gross is also an option.

Every time I see “period underwear,” I have a moment of confusion because I think we’re suddenly talking about costuming. Like, shifts, corsets, and drawers and stuff. I may spend too much time watching costume dramas and reading historical fiction. Maybe.

*nervously raises hand* I just kind of hanker for the days when that was an option. I vote, I just sometimes wish I didn’t have to care because it’s all so depressing. I mean, this is childhood vs. adulthood. When you’re a child, it isn’t irresponsible to vote, it’s illegal to vote.

I have a bird phobia! This animal is the stuff of nightmares. NIGHTMARES.

I saw the headline and thought, “Why is Jezebel reporting on this now? It happened a week ago . . . wait . . . that was in Missouri. This is another incident. Crap.” Is blatant antisemitism (and hate crimes against other minorities) going to be the new normal? I used to think that blatant prejudice was better…

If you ain’t Dutch, you ain’t much!

Yup. Jefferson said that slavery was like holding a wolf by the ears—”we dare not hold on, and we dare not let go.” But I keep thinking: what if they HAD dared to let go? What if all those allegedly freedom-loving founding fathers had cared more about freedom and human dignity than they did about their own wealth…

The truly hilarious part about his fears are that they’re so rooted in the one-drop rule. If he didn’t see white as “standard” and every other ethnicity as “other,” then he wouldn’t think that Caucasian genes were so vulnerable. He’d see a kid with a mixture of conventionally white and black traits, instead of a…

I should have read farther before I commented—I just wrote that I’d like to be able to replace him with an image of a cheeto or pumpkin or something. Kittens would be nice, though!