“When You’re a Professional Pirate” is probably my favorite part. My brothers and I are all in our 30s and late 20s, and we watched it again last year when we were all together for Christmas. It doesn’t get old! (First we watched Muppets Christmas Carol, naturally, and after that we were in the mood for more…

I still say his finest role was as Long John Silver in Muppets Treasure Island.

I mean, even if they meant it as a joke, it’s really dumb. “LOL, she knows the leader of ISIS’ name!” Yeah, she really, really should know it, since she wants to be president and all. HOW IS THAT FUNNY? But yeah, they’re pretty proud of their ignorance. My family is really depressing me right now. At least my…

I need to vent: three (that’s 3) of my family members have posted some version of “LOL she said ‘Bagdaddy’” on Facebook. I am BARELY holding myself back from telling them that if they weren’t so ignorant, they’d know she was talking about the leader of ISIS. You know, the reason why they don’t want Muslims to enter…

Yeah, studying the trope of the tragic mulatto in literature paints a pretty interesting picture of how people can try to help a cause and end up just perpetuating all sorts of racist assumptions. It’s fascinating! And also sad! But using “mulatto” in casual conversation? NO.

See now, if you’d said that with a sheepish yet endearing smile and offered to get her a basket too, I bet she would have been quite willing to give you her number. Screwing up is not necessarily the end! It’s all about how you react to screwing up.

Yeah, at first I was cheering Johnson on because the people I know who usually vote Republican were talking about voting for him instead.So yay, fewer votes for Trump (those people would rather set themselves on fire than vote for a Clinton, so a protest vote/staying home was the most I could hope for). Then I started…

Two by two, hands of blue.

I always just keep clicking “Load More” then I wonder why I’m having trouble sleeping :(

That’s great! It’s pretty cool that your boobs make a miracle cure, right? :)

Aw, you’re reminding me of that time I took horseback riding lessons and I was paired up with a horse named Ralph. He had a skin fungus, but was very patient. Poor Ralph.

Makes sense! My friend has pretty much convinced me that if you have any kind of problem with your skin (not skin cancer or something like that, but something you’d use OTC meds on), putting breast milk on it will cure it.

That’s an excellent point.

That’s how I read the headline too.

See, breast milk I have no problem with. I can’t imagine putting pee in my eye though. That is just too far.

She said it’s good for acne too. She’s not a close enough friend to ask for some excess milk to try washing my face with, but if my best friend gets pregnant again, I’m asking if she has a surplus.

Don’t know if you were breastfeeding your first child, but if you were, did you try putting breast milk in your eye? One of my friends is a “breast milk cures everything” enthusiast, so now I know that it’s supposed to cure that. The things we learn when our friends produce offspring!

Forget about cracking your windows! I bet they’re good at breaking in.

See, when I saw the monkeys jumping over rooftops, I learned something about myself: Apparently, I like monkeys in the wild just fine, but I find monkeys in the city CREEPY AS SHIT. Like they just turned into pigeonrats. And it’s not like I don’t know that they also live in cities just like many other animals like…

Thanks! I’m always on the lookout for new and interesting people to follow.