A very important aspect of this election that I feel is being ignored is that Ivanka turns 35 this month. You know what that means, right?

Just when I thought it was perfect, you showed me it could get better!

I am speechless. Simply speechless.

In my favorite version, some stylist was laughing madly and opening a bottle of champagne as the nation realized that Melania was wearing a shirt with a pussy bow. Of course, that kind of sucks for Melania, but my sympathy for her is extremely limited.

Good clip! I did not know that white people from Commonwealth countries are referred to as expats but if you’re not white you’re an immigrant. That really paints a picture.

Oh my damn.

Never saw it coming!

And making deals with his god would only involve him looking at a mirror and talking to himself, so . . .

THIS IS AMAZING HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS ON EVERY SINGLE ARTICLE THIS WEEK THIS IS PERFECT

I mean, I’m pretty moderate. I’ve voted for Democrats and I’ve voted for Republicans depending on who is running. This time, it’s straight ticket Democrat all the way. I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Re: the tbt to Dave Matthews. I bought a new (to me) car several months ago, so I had a free XM Radio subscription for 3 months. One of the things I learned is that apparently I HATE Dave Matthews. I found myself lunging for the radio dial whenever one of his songs came on the radio, and it surprised me a little. …

Oh. My. Damn. I missed this when I was reading the comments earlier. I’m gonna have to share this with my conservative, evangelical family on Facebook!

Oh, so he was negging her? That makes horrible, horrible sense.

Yeah, relatives on Facebook can get tricky. I have a large extended family, they’re all on Facebook, and most of them are deeply (blindly) conservative. So I try to keep things civil while still standing up for what I believe in, because it’s just not worth the family discord. But I think that as the election gets…

Ah! The other one you wrote about the clown that died on your reservation was scary too. Hopefully he’s benevolent, but I’m glad nobody has tried to find out!

Aaaaah! What are the endings?

OK, because I generally enjoy your comments and imagining you as a clown was really weirding me out, and I’m not even particularly scared of clowns. Your powers are downright spooky!

Yes! “Clowns and Muslims: Why aren’t they reporting stuff? Story at 11.”

I do feel a certain amount of sympathy for them. I mean, here they are trying to spread joy and laughter and people run screaming.

The only scenarios I’m coming up with are either that you’re a terrifying clown or you tell terrifying clown stories. So, inquiring minds want to know: Are you a secret clown?