Its only funny if it makes sense, “Oh dad just wanted better tickets”. If there was a possibility of better tickets but you knew that to not be the primary factor. Student tickets are not what anyone is after, so there is no joke only you not understanding football tickets.

With all due respect Nef, I think you’re being too hard on Kim. She’s dealing with the trauma of a fucked up childhood as being a child actress who was the family breadwinner for years, then losing her identity when the roles dried up. Her relationship with her sister is truly fucked up and toxic with Kyle being a…

You get better football tickets for donating than for being a student, so no.

Dat lass got sass.

Don’t go back. Jezebel is full of meanies.

You are no queen of mine.

I most certainly do not. They are comfortable. More comfortable than pants, which are nothing more than prison for your legs.

Okay but you need to burn those shorts you are better than this.

Bedazzeled E-pens. Been around forever already.

...and I had better be able to do it off the abs of a 19 year old musician named Dave.

For a mere $5,000.00 I will light your expensive weed for you, inhale it, blow it into a hand crafted gold leafed crystal chalice, and deliver it to your door. When you get the munchies I will also eat snack foods in front of you for the low price of $350.00

She’s trying to change weed’s image with her Beverly Hills Cannabis Club, which sells “designer” pot targeted to women that runs for $700 an ounce and comes wrapped in gold foil. To go with it, she’s created a range of $15,000 pavé diamond vaporizers (“why not make it a luxury fashion accessory?”), plus she’s got a…

is an eye sore to the neighborhood

Your neighbor is fat-shaming your car.

is this Philly or Juarez? I expect Yul Brenner to come around the corner on horseback.

The solution here is clear.

Welcome to our show— hold on, I gotta finish this blowjob.

Thank you, beebutts!