I sincerely do not understand why we still will allow people as young as 14 to get married. Lord Almighty. This is 2016 and thankfully we don’t consider 22 years of age the beginning of spinsterhood (except in some of the United States). Enough is enough.

I would say you can hope, but the sad truth is that his followers worship him as a God now. Even if he loses the election some of them are so devoted they’d ask for vote recounts every day until the man dies.

If anyone wants to know what that red welt on my arm is it’s from pinching myself since the election news started. I keep trying to wake myself up from this nightmare.

Aw, I loved her old choppers. They gave her face character. No shade meant either, I really love a different looking smile. Her new teeth are beautiful though, hope her haters are stewing.

25% off all steaks and toupees on Super Tuesday @ livelikeashortfingeredvulgarian.com

It’s like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants with less sisterhood and more mysterious stains.

Please do all of humanity a favor and take an electric carving knife to your genitals.

All men past their adolescence who purposefully and repeatedly want to fuck women for their own pleasure and not even attempt to please the women back deserve to get testicular cancer, survive testicular cancer, then die by getting swallowed up into a sinkhole.

This post is about women not feeling obligated to stay overnight at a fella’s place if the sex was shit. If women are running out the door like your apartment is on fire you have bigger problems than having to “awkwardly ask her to leave”.

Happy Birthday! I hope it is free of scam chowder and full of cinnamon funs (I am sorry lol).

I support taking all people off of our money, but only so I can stop having elaborate dreams about Benjamin Franklin trying to kill me.

Hannibal Lecter advised Clarice Starling to find more fun in life and at 11:30 am on a rather dull Tuesday I would take tickets to this creamy pubefest in a hot fucking minute.

Some of us need encouragement to aim that high.

Whitney Bischoff is having second thoughts about Chris Soules.

Doesn't change the fact that she's playing minstrel show like the other two.

Yea, those old buildings are beautiful. Shame what went inside more often than not was pretty gruesome.

I want Macklemore to marry Miley Cyrus and Iggy Azalea, Sister Wives style. Then have a reality show centered around the thrift shop/center for misguided youths they run now that they have all found love with each other.

Sullivan claimed, too that "Society did fine" before mental illness was widely understood, or, as he put it, "I don't know, I don't know why we have to create these new illnesses, and create all these medicines for something that really wasn't a problem in the first place."

Well, I have a new answer for whenever someone asks me if I think they're "shitting money".

It's like an awesome B-movie that lives in Lana's head. It's about her, and it's not about her. Just like her music.