The only part of that video that made sense to me was the NyQuil commercial at the end.

FUCKING MAYO. Dumb pasty smelly slime.

I don't do mayo or ladders!

I have never been able to get past THE SMELL. The mayo smell is disgusting to me.

It doesn't matter, all of you are gross. YOU ARE GROSS.

It's OK; other people can know things in ways that you don't. Kid, I mean this sincerely: Check yourself. Your act is really bad and you have a lot to learn.

MCDONALD'S TOLD ME PINK SLIME IS A FOOD GROUP.

I still think the rebellious little cannibals should be free! Free to run and play and rot in harmony.

Keeping your pet hamburgers in jars is unspeakably cruel, Morgan Spuckluck, you are a bad man.

doing it all herself!

I have figured it out, but uh . . . how do I know I've reached the end of my vagina and I'm not like pushing the tape measure into my uterus?

how did you figure out how long your vagina exactly is?

The longer I look at them I wonder why I don't celebrate more occasions by sporting some fancy headwear. Really, look how bland and uninteresting the rest of the people at the restaurant look by comparison.

I wonder if these two fun looking patrons are in need of a lovely lady to take home with them.

Those kittens frolicking in a flower garden just had a rainbow orgy. Lisa Frank is a lot more wild than most people think.

If given the choice between reading Lena Dunham's book and standing under a used condom in the subway, I would choose the condom. Because at least if the condom fell on me, the disgust I felt with myself would disappear after a hot shower.

Well, I guess if I invite anyone over to sex with me in my bed, I'll tell them the unicorn likes to watch. No big deal.

The real reason he wants to outlaw abortions even for pregnancies that are the result of incest is because his stupidity can be attributed to generations of inbreeding. Incest isn't best, Walker clan.

I long for the day she has children, because when they are asked how many siblings they have, they would have to distinguish the ones who are human from the ones who are chickens.

Delicious irony!