Shit, it’s almost like my post has provoked a series of introspective, thought provoking replies, and you’re on your own with your virtue signalling. You’re a real hero. You should feel really good about yourself.

Lighten up, Francis. No one’s bragging about anything here. Just recounting the cringe-worthy and yes, racist shit we did when were kids, and someone should have steered us better. But hey, you got to feel better than someone on the internet, so congrats, you seem like a real prize.

I’m realizing that in the 4th Grade Wax Museum I portrayed Geronimo, and browned up my face. Can’t take that back.

If Real Genius is to believed, Drew will be a real font of wisdom, to guide her through her undergraduate life.

My mother keeps chicken thighs and breasts, sausage, and steak in the freezer at all times. When she wants, say, a dinner that involves sausage, she goes to the store and buys more sausage. She then thaws the frozen sausage, and freezes the fresh sausage. I mean, she's always prepared, but she also never consumes…

I would honestly accept a ‘Holy shit, I did do that, and it is straight up horrible. I’ve learned a lot since then. I’m sorry.’ I would move on.

Wait, I need clarification. If I put a dongle on my keychain, Dongle 193dkfa987, and use it to tell if my keys are in the living room or closet, will Wall-mart be able to track that particular dongle as I go through the fishing department, and the next time I'm there, switch advertising screens to fishing sales?…

*yawn*

*yawn*

And he’s going to remember every damn second of it.

As a History teacher, I’m kinda loving this.

So, it’s like Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra? Talented gorgeous woman gets a boy-toy?

I’m really curious how he’s going to play the State of the Union. Is it the best it’s ever been, and he deserves all the credit? Is it the worst it’s ever been, because of those meddling Libs? Somehow both?

Call me a heathen, but it's the only thing I use my instapot for.

Do we know for certain that that duct tape section was ad libbed? Because it really stood out (human trafficking is the highest it’s been in the history of the world? Have you heard of the Atlantic Slave Trade?), and I would love to know and definitely be able to point to it as the President ‘thinking on his feet’. Is…

The President has a very specific mental image of having four women duct taped in a van.

Is it all flights? Or just some flights? I’ve seen plenty of secondary reporting saying All, but the only official wording I’ve seen seems like someone could have just said ‘no flights from San Diego or Pittsburg till after lunch’ and still be technically true.

Honestly, I’ll give this one kid a ‘maybe’. Maybe you were just trying to get back up the steps, you’re all jacked up on pep-rally adrenaline, and suddenly you’re in a totally unexpected situation, you freeze, and this is your nervous face. Maybe. But flipping through the two hour version, I have no reservations…

Can we all just agree not to remember each other's birthdays though?

If Polk is one of your favorite presidents, we have at least a couple problems.