Just for fun, here’s the chapter preview of a 1900 bio of Peter Faneuil: “Death of Andrew Faneuil. Mourning rings and gloves. Boston’s most costly funeral. The Last Will and its secrets. Provision for Poor of Boston. Copies of Will sent to Foreign Lands. Peter Faneuil becomes Merchant Prince of Boston. He re-stocks…

You leave Teddy alone! Oh wait.... no, I see it now.

It’s cool, buddy. You’re cool. Everyone knows how smart you are. You’re like, really impressive. We’re all so impressed.

It’s a shame this is too far down to get the stars it deserves.

Dude, I didn’t see you defeat anybody. Not even a little. You showed a glimmer of talent for moving and narrowing the goal-posts? I guess.

Tiki torches?

I feel like I could do that.

Islay scotch, vermouth, green chartreuse.

Well, we’ve had the Fist for eight innings, looks like Dirty Craig is going to wrap things up!

This would be a totally reasonable, progressive, and expedient thing to do. In 1978.

“Dirty Craig”

I... feel like I could? Like, with multiple eye-witnesses, or a video camera. Maybe that phrase doesn’t apply here? I mean, I can’t prove there are no aliens. But given the right circumstances, yeah, I could prove this.

It’s easy — recipe calls for one medium onion, use two large onions. Double ratio for garlic.

Knife, and cast iron pan (enameled?). She won’t know how good she’s got it until she’s twenty eight, leaves it behind in a move, and has to live without. She’ll think of how thoughtful you were again.

I liked it.

Well, that’s a true believer.

I don’t feel like “Kansas Secretary of State” is something I’d leave on my resume.

You know, I understood intellectually that I should build as many cities as I could, but I just really wanted libraries, and I never really made the adjustment. So if the game is shifting back to where I can thrive with five cities, awesome.

So... All this will be required reading in APUSH? That’ll be a tonal change.

I know a good spot that you should go to, that place in Genosha.