that’s how dudes talk to ladies all the time “oh that can’t be right” to my years of experience and research oh ok my boobs got in the way

“Whoever these miscellaneous Celtics are, they are feisty as hell.”

Just want to say thank you for all your work, especially your incredible investigative pieces year after year. Deadspin is a great place for dick jokes and making fun of Austin Rivers, but for me, no author’s byline here commands as much attention as yours.

I do not throw a baseball with my hand; I throw a baseball with my heart.

Everybody from the Deep South pretends like they’re descended from genteel benevolent plantation owners who treated their slaves so well that they didn’t want to stop being slaves, when in reality most of them are descended from degenerate convicts, serial debtors, and literal dirt farmers all too poor to have ever…

Dude, I’m a Pats fan, but there’s room enough for Kraft on the plane. He’s a Trump supporter and while he’s one of the nicer, more generous owners, it’s like saying he’s one of the nicer wasps, still an asshole.

You haven’t really slammed Bitcoin until you explain that ‘Mt. Gox’ literally, LITERALLY, stands for Magic The Gathering Online eXchange.

I thought the last 10 months would have been sufficient warning about the dangers of replacing a competent black man with an inexperienced and unqualified white guy, but here we are again.

To put it more compactly: if you change Obamacare’s name to Trumpcare but leave the rest of the program exactly the same, Trump’s poorly informed, cult of personality supporters will immediately reverse course and declare it the best thing ever.

I love watching Brady play. But he cheated. What is BS about that situation was that he cheated at the level of a $10,000 to $50,000 fine, and he got suspended like a serial PED user and the team got the largest penalty ever. But he told those guys to make the balls softer. Move on.

“We can’t have the inmates running the prison,” McNair said.

Choke the Raven nevermore.

I think being a fan of this particular Astros team makes it damn near impossible to get upset when another team celebrates. The Astros play with a young man’s (really, a kid’s) joy up and down the lineup. The only guys that don’t show emotion are McCann and Beltran for the most part. In fact, I cannot recall a single…

I think the football gods have decided to troll the owners who won’t sign Kaep by knocking out two QBs a week until he’s signed.

Were either given an official position as an advisor to their dad?

I would have thought the article made no sense. I mean Obama’s oldest daughter wasn’t even born yet when Cobain died. Now we are supposed to believe a baby dyed her hair blue? The whole story would fall apart.

“Adrian Peterson has been demoted from Saint to Cardinal.”

Paying to watch a public execution feels problematic.

The Browns should have responded with a picture of a plane hitting the world trade center.

When you’re a Jet you’re a Jet all the way