Whatever, the waiting list to get into that parking area is billions of people long.

“I’ve always been raised as being currently a 26-year-old,”

Beats all you ever saw.

Sorry, but I won't stop having sex with your sister.

She’s The Watcher, obviously.

Its great that this works with both Farmers and Nationwide. And that now they’re both jammed inside my skull.

This is a solid joke, but I cant help scratching my head at the number of people who are reacting like they just heard Who’s On First for the first time.

Thanks, Deadspin, but we already know that Indians always win the Spelling Bees

All of this reminiscing about Dream over the past 24 hours has tied me to the tree of woe.

I don’t get sad over celebrity deaths, but when Ric Flair dies, I will cry like a baby.

I got married a month ago. My brother- my best man- asked me on gchat how long he would have for a speech. I told him 5 minutes, give or take. He responded:

Tom and David wants to drive each other, but Scientology prohibits it, so they turn it off like light switch and audit each other

The long-standing & widespread rumor in Hollywood is that Keaton is one of the funniest people alive. Just a natural, quick wit that always seems spot on. His Bill Murray years will be pure magic.

Starring, in alphabetical order, Yodeling Zeke...

His constant calling of his players “Pussies” while making a vagina gesture near his crotch area was the last straw with management.

I dunno. Don’t rule out Jerry Jones’s large adult son.

I’ll grant him the weed; it’s a brief respite from such a Spartan life.

A wonderful piece and an excellent reminder that barely one full generation ago, gay men were essentially being exterminated by a disease that was so stigmatized fathers refused to admit it had killed their sons. honestly, for the time, Lasorda's lack of rejection was pretty progressive. And I was truly moved by the…

Whole lot of derp in some of these comments so lemme balance all that out with: this was outstanding. And timely. Thanks for pubbing.