The first step to recovery is admitting you fucked up.

Good to see Him taking a little personal time on Sunday to fuck with Russell Wilson.

When you go to a restaurant, you can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find — you just might find — you get what you need.

Man, teenage girls are assholes.

Shouldn't that be "I find the letter P offensive and resectively demand you remove all instances of it from this ost"?

You should have showed up at the Gawker offices and waited for the manager.

No doubt she crashed because her tires were slightly deflated.

And yet we didn't get one "Ha Ha That's Not Funny" headline.

Actually, Buck and Aikman said nothing of the kind during those (too many) camera shots of the guy, but don't let that stop you from loudly asserting they did.

"I give you headache, fuck you in the ass and make you humble!!!!"

I will only go to the supper blow if bread is free!

True Shit(ter)

I wanna be a cowboy

"Throw some gravy on that sumbitch and sell it for six bucks!!!!!"

What do you mean by that? Everyone indoors is black?

Looks like "Generic Athlete Face #17" from Kenner Starting Lineups.

Had she flopped after the fraudulent charge, the call would have gone the other way.

When the video of his arrest is released, I hope like hell Gus Johnson is calling it.

There's gold in them there poops!

OH SNAP