Talking Sailor - Woody Guthrie

STILL orange. I think I'll get a semi-permanent dye tomorrow that can do a good cover-up. I can't seem to get the toner to work, and I'm worried that any more fiddling will damage it even more. I've slathered on some olive oil for the evening to give it some moisture.

You fill a room with balloons so that you can't even see the floor!

So I wanted to prank my husband by bleaching my hair last night (I do dumb shit while he's at work to entertain me and to make him laugh, like, I dye all the eggs turquoise or make balloon field, as discussed in a thread last night. This is funny because I wanted him to come home from work, turn the light on and see a…

Don't feel boring-feel smart. I woke up more orange than blonde. Like, all orange, no blonde. Back to brown tomorrow, and hopefully my hair won't fall out.

I don't think so. The lady I'm replacing has tattoos on her arms and wears sleeveless shirts. I think/hope it'll be ok to have weird hair.

On paper and at night, maybe. In reality, I'm super boring. I'm a Spanish-teacher/social worker so workdays I'm boring. But weekends! PBR inspires so many ...great... ideas. Like fake nails and bleached hair and turquoise eggs.

Thank you! But, sometimes the crazy is a bit too much. And I take meds for it. We usually have fun, but the non-fun parts are waaaaay not-fun.

It's a bit less tame than my vulger chalk art on the driveway (like turds). Damn, these nails make typing hard. Usually I stay up til he gets home, but I'm going to go to bed early so he turns on the light and sees a blonde in his bed (I'm a super-dark brunette)!

So I get super bored on weekend nights. Usually I do pranks for my husband, who works at night. I've done turquoise eggs, balloon fields, etc. Tonight: I'm bleaching my hair. Have I gone too far? No. Also, press-on nails. I'm gonna wake up looking radical.

I say "leh-ver" too (I'm from Oklahoma) but on Law and Order they said "lee-ver". Also, at my work, many customers ask for "lee-ver"-backed ear wires (jewelry store in OK) and I think it's weird. What about the soap? On the ad, they say "Lee-ver" 2000.

Is "lever" pronounced : lee-ver or leh-ver or is it a regional thing?

We don't need a better PR team. We just need better. Period. Everyone's making this mass exodus to Austin, Portland or Seattle, so my little group and I are the only sane ones left (yes, I know that subjective). I am a Spanish speaking social worker, so I definitely have work to do here. Panty stealing and football…

Oklahoma REPRESENT! (But really, Oklahoma, seriously, don't represent us that way, like, with panties. We've got enough shit covered shit that panty stealing is not necessary. Steal Sally Kern and flush her down a toilet). I just like seeing my state talked about and the bombing or OU football not being the main…

Everytime I see the title of this column, I get this song stuck in my head. Also, I want babies!!!!

My parents lives, in a list:

Wait. Is Puerto Rico not considered to be part of the U.S. in sports?

For real. I remember that in in 6th grade (1999ish?), I watched an old John Glenn go into space and I cried in class because it made me really emotional for some reason. So of course, I wanted to be an astronaut. Then I rode a roller coaster, and also read about astronaut training. Both sounded horrible. If my stomach…

I know hurricanes and tornados are different, but there are some priorities those inland and those on the coast both have: booze and animals. Last time the worst tornados went through Oklahoma, we had a bottle of water, a 12 pack of beer, 2 people, one laptop, one jewelry box (seriously- pack up your heirlooms/nice…

My bug bite scars turn purple (yeah, I scratch till they bleed), so: 1.) Vitamin E on the scars. 2.) Put sunscreen on them. Sunlight makes them darker and purpleier. 3.) Wait a year. Yeah it sucks, but they fade after a year or so. I had a dog bite me and give me broken bones plus puncture wounds, but after a bit,…