The questions were rhetorical.

Yes, that’s exactly how they work.

That was my thought too.

New York Archdiocese Will Compensate Sex Abuse Victims if They Relinquish Their Right to Sue

I keep my secrets in my head but share them when I get drunk so you’re on to something!

Sweet.

I kept waiting for someone to say his glasses were taped together and he had a slide ruler in his front pocket.

I heard he would steal lunches out of the breakroom fridge and commit a few “silent but deadlies” in the elevator too. Lock him up.

My sister is one. It is infuriating. I have a lot of trouble feeling sympathetic to her issues when every word out of her mouth when we see each other is about how awful my food decisions are.

Uh huh, because some people are told if they leave they will lose their job and they are poor enough that they stay because they must. Or they have no transportation. Or they have no money for fuel to leave. Or they just got leave as of today and are stuck on the highway like my brother, his wife, and their five…

I bet this is more of a Munchausen by proxy than eating disorder situation

This woman needs serious psychiatric help. Don’t think jail time is going to be of much use for a woman who inflicts her own disorders on her kids.

It’s like ... explain to your four year-old that if a girl doesn’t want to hug him, he shouldn’t hug her. He’s had object permanence for more than two years at that point so he’ll be able to handle basic lessons about respect.

he both has and he hasn’t. Schrodinger’s dick.

Man your conservative businessmen friends from 1998 will love this joke!!!!

Just between us, Trump definitely fucked Tyson’s wife, right?

Thanks Ashley, now whenever we talk about Trump in politics I will just think about how we were this close to Mike Tyson solving this problem for us in the 80s.

While I agree with everything you wrote I’d like to add we should have talks with our daughter’s about ensuring their own safety, and keeping an eye on their beverage at all times and never ever accept a drink from someone. Even if it was prepared by their BFF.

*and daughters